


Something They Need

by nel_gal



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 43,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nel_gal/pseuds/nel_gal
Summary: Lawyer AU - After being shot on the force, Rick is now a cocky defence lawyer for a prestigious law firm in Atlanta. Rick thinks he has his life together and that he doesn’t need anything. Turns out, he needs Daryl.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this 2 years ago - I think. I know I definitely started it before my last chaptered fic (“All You Know” – which is very different to this one). Although I did start it after my ‘Long Fic’. The idea for my unnamed Long Fic is the reason I started writing fan fic at all, so although it is very much unfinished, hopefully it will make its way here one day!
> 
> Certainly, the show has changed a lot since I started writing this. With regards to that, I’ve made some minor adjustments, but they really are pretty minor. Probably one thing to note is that because I started this so long ago, the characters here are from early – mid seasons.. No one new from season 8/9 or probably even 7.. except very small mentions of Negan… And only one very minor section of the overall story has had any influence from season 7 forward. But I mean anyway, this is totally an AU – it’s a Lawyer fic with a huge splashing of explicit material.
> 
> I actually watched Suits (up to season 7) in the past two months and before that I was worried about my complete lack of knowledge of the law, and all of the liberties I’ve taken here (please don’t read this if you’re going to point out where I’ve gone wrong with lawyering stuff, let’s just go with it or skip this one!), but since watching Suits I decided it was fine, the liberties they take on that show has gotta be worse. Note this fic has Nothing to do with Suits. I did try reading a few Harvey/Mike fics, but I can’t seem to ship them like I do Rick/Daryl!
> 
> This story is about 90% complete, and has been for quite a while but I held of starting to publish it because I was worried I would need to make changes to earlier chapters (I don’t necessarily write chronologically). But I’m sure now the early chapters (it’s currently at Chapter 32) won’t change. I will be posting one or two chapters per week.

Rick's drunk.  

He'd been drinking in this dark and dingy bar in the less-good part of town for hours now. The kind of place where the paint has long since dulled and the carpet is worn out in patches but is still clean at least so it falls slightly shy of being able to be described as 'seedy.'  But it is still carpet, unlike the polished timber of classier establishments he would usually drink at with his colleagues.  Here the accents are dark greens and mustards. There's an old pool table in one corner, a dart board in another, towels on the bar and it's underground. It's definitely not the kind of place women catch up with each other for a fancy cocktail after work, but it's perfect for the kind of drinking he needs.

Rick's drunk.  

Not too drunk to realise drinking more is a bad idea, but he holds up his finger to the bar tender anyway and quickly downs the bourbon and coke that is placed in front of him, before holding up another finger. And another.

He barely notices the dark liquid sliding down his throat.  His eyes, somewhat glazed over now are focused on the game on the TV over the bar, or he occasionally checks emails on his phone, although that’s really just out of habit, because he's too drunk to concentrate on their content - and wasn't that the point anyway. He had been conversing intermittently with the other patrons who came and went, but mostly everyone else had gone home long ago, and his priority was on the drinking anyway.

Rick's drunk.  

It's the only way he knows to come down from a case like that. The young victim, a drawn-out trial, carefully locked away memories to try to force their way to the front of his mind and play with his emotions.  A case that was difficult in its own right, without the added complication of also causing him to question his vocation. Again.

Drinking like this is really the only way he knows to properly unwind.  Sure there was the end of case dinner with his colleagues that he attended earlier, but that was simply a formality he had managed to hold a tight smile through.  It was the proper drink-to-forget kind of unwind he needed and which he always practiced alone, usually at some small bar in the seedier end of town, just like this one.

He emptied the next glass before signalling the bar tender again, vaguely clocking the frown on the man's face.

Rick sighed, closed his eyes and scrubbed his hand over his face, an indulgence that probably wouldn't help in his quest to continue to be served drinks.

He was interrupted by a quiet, hesitant: "Rick Grimes?" There was a rough, gravelly timbre to the voice. It was a sound that caused a warm shiver to run up his spine.

Damn! He thought he wouldn't be recognised here. It was one of the reasons he chose this place. He quickly opened his eyes and tried to force the blurry vision in front of him into the shape of a man.

"Waz it to you?" He slurred, then let out a surprised chuckle as his vision focussed into the image of the man in front of him.  "Oh."

"Ah, I'd offer to buy yah a drink, but it looks like maybe you've got that covered." The other man gestured with a wry grin to the full glass the bar tender had just placed in front of him."

"Yeah I do, but I'll get you one. What are you having?"

"I was just leaving." He answered a little reluctantly, eyes darting towards the door before firmly stating. "Coors."

"Don't be shy Dixon, sit down."

Daryl Dixon, like Rick, was still dressed in a suit and tie. His hair was a little messier than Rick was used to seeing it, though he assumed the same could be said for himself.

He pulled up the next stool. "Might look a little strange if someone saw us drinking together." Daryl commented.

"Jesus, no one else would be crazy enough to come here.  Wait, what the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"Just finished a reunion with some university friends."

"You'all chose this place?"

"What's wrong with it?" Daryl wondered.

"Well anyway, if anyone asks what we're doing here together, we can just tell them we were talking about your white paper on child abuse." Daryl's eyes flickered in surprise.

Rick's drunk.  

So he added in his cockiest, Southern-est drawl: "And if that fails, we'll just tell them we're sleeping together."

Rick’s always cocky, but not usually this bold.  But he wasn't usually so drunk with someone so good looking and _openly gay_ , sitting next to him.

The good looking, openly gay guy had his eyebrows raised pretty much as high as they could go.

"Whoat?" Rick tilted his head back. "You gonna tell me you haven't been checking me out each time we've been in court? I mean, it's fucking amazing I ever win anything against you, considering how distracted by your ass I usually am."

"Huh." Daryl responded, a small smile playing at his lips as he looked away for a second, and back again. "Didn't realise you were gay."

"Yeah, well you're not alone there." Rick quipped as he leaned over to grab his glass and teetered precariously sideways on his bar stool in the process.

"Also didn't realise you'd read my paper." Daryl put a hand on Rick's arm to help re-settle him on the stool.

Rick gave a slight nod.

"Huh.  So how long have you been drinking for cowboy?" He motioned to the one full and one empty glass in front of Rick.

"A while." He nodded.  "A few hours. What is the time? I actually have no idea how long I've been drinking." Rick admitted, the slur in his voice lending credibility to his words, and he shifted slightly and almost fell off the stool again.

"I think maybe it's time to get you out of here." Daryl motioned to the bar tender. "What's his tab?" He laid some cash out on the bar before picking up Rick's left arm and placing it around his neck, then hoisting Rick up, and supporting him out to the street.

Rick really is drunk.

"Lez’ go to your place."

Daryl smiled and shook his head in amazement as he hailed a cab and gave his address.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos. I had the biggest smile reading each comment.

The next morning Rick was sitting on the end of Daryl's bed, fumbling with his phone when he heard the sheets rustle behind him. He twisted around to see Daryl slowly come awake, rub his eyes and sit up in bed.

Seconds prior Rick had been trying to decide whether to quietly leave, or first wake the other man and demand he agree to never tell anyone he had been here. But as Daryl sat up and the sheets fell away from his torso, Rick's breath hitched and he took in the tanned skin, large shoulders, muscular arms and six pack, all in perfect proportion.  His face in contrast, was an unusually delicate structure, perfect high cheek bones that complimented his overall physique.  He had always thought the other man was good looking, and the suits he wore never quite hid the broad shoulders and narrow waist, but actually seeing him shirt-less was another matter. Rick felt his pulse rate rise, and he coughed to cover his ragged breathing before meeting Daryl’s eyes.

He was planning to say something, although he wasn't sure what, when Daryl spoke first. "Are you wearing my tie?" He asked incredulously. Surprised, but not angry.

Rick fought the urge to look meek.  "Yes, and one of your shirts. Although it's too big for me." He tugged at the excess white fabric at the shoulders to demonstrate. "I'm due in court in forty minutes and last night someone _, probably me_ , spilled a drink on my shirt." He offered with a small smile. "At least, I think I'm due in court. My phone battery's dead so I can't check my diary."

"Huh." Daryl offered, standing up from bed and moving over to the side wall to lean back against a chest of drawers.

"What time did we leave the bar?" Rick asked, more for something to say than out of any real curiosity, as he continued to control his breathing. Daryl was only wearing tight blue boxer shorts, and the lower half of his body was as impressive as the rest. He allowed himself to stare a second longer, before averting his eyes.

"About 2:30."

"We, ahhh, didn't......"

"Nah." Daryl shook his head as he bent down to pull on a pair of grey track pants that were in a pile on the floor.  "You were barely conscious by the time we got back here.  Although, you did manage to take yourself off to the bathroom to piss before you stripped naked and passed out on my bed." He managed to keep a straight face. "Still, I'm a gentleman, despite the fact that you also have a cute ass."

Rick smiled and resisted the urge to chuckle.  Luckily he wasn't the kind of person to get embarrassed about nudity, and anyway, Daryl just complimented him, which he vaguely realised linked back to something he had drunkenly rambled last night.

Minutes earlier Rick had been convinced that pursuing anything with this man was pointless at best and potentially career-destroying at worst, but those thoughts had melted away with the bed sheets when Daryl sat up.

He gestured to his useless phone. "I'm pretty certain I have a dinner meeting tonight, but was thinking I could come back at, say, nine if you're around?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." Daryl answered, gaze smouldering behind hooded lids and a fringe that was longer than it seemed at work and apparently fell in front of his eyes when it wasn't styled.

"I'll see you then." Rick offered another small smile.  He stood up and resisted the urge to walk over and sweep the fringe out of those blue eyes, and instead exited the room and the apartment without a backwards glance.  He was good at playing things cool, it was one of the things that made him great at his job, and it had come in handy more than once in his personal life.

He checked the apartment number on the door, ‘fourteen’, and once on the street made sure to take notice of the building and address, so he could return later. He hailed a taxi without problem and arrived in court ten minutes before he was due and rather more composed than he had any right to be.

He didn't have any case notes with him, but the other thing that made he so good at his job was his excellent memory and ability to think on his feet.

He made it through the session and was confident no one was any the wiser about how little sleep and how much drinking had occurred in his past 12 hours.

After court, he borrowed a colleague’s phone to cancel his next meeting in favour of ducking home, showering and taking a 30minute power nap before changing into all new clothes. Then he dropped Daryl's shirt and tie to the cleaners on the way into the office, paying extra to have them ready later that day.

Rick was good at compartmentalising his life, so he managed to put most thoughts of last night and what would likely happen tonight out of his mind and pay attention to his work.  He even managed to make some progress with a new case that promised to be another complicated, protracted one, before leaving the office late with his friend and colleague Glenn to eat and discuss another case they were working on.

Later that evening he said goodbye to Glenn, stopped into the cleaners, then the bottle shop and then jumped in a cab to Daryl's apartment building. It was a little after 9pm when he rang the bell.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl answered the door wearing only the same grey track pants from that morning and Rick's eyes were naturally drawn to how low on his narrow hips they sat.  His hair was damp like he’d not long gotten out of the shower.

"Thanks for the shirt and tie." Rick said, handing them over in their protective plastic, along with the six pack of Coors. “How much do I owe you for my bar tab?”

Daryl glanced at the beer. "You weren't as out of it as I thought last night?"

"Oh, I don't know about that. I was pretty drunk, but I thought I remembered the Coors.  It's a little patchy. I don't remember getting undressed, but I do remember commenting on your ass." Rick smiled wryly. “And there’s no charge on my card, so I assume you paid.”

Daryl smiled too.  "Don’t worry about it man.  Come on in. Again." He led Rick into the modest living room and held up the beer. "Like one?"

Rick shook his head.  He felt uncharacteristically nervous, but he still didn't want a drink. "Not sure I'm ready to back up again after last night. But you go ahead." He looked around the small-yet-neat -living room. "I umm, don't always drink that much." He said, apologetically.

Daryl nodded. "I don't feel like a drink either." He was standing in the door frame between the kitchen and living area and Rick looked away from the decor and allowed his eyes to once again take in the whole of the man’s body. Daryl noticed of course but seemed also to sense a reluctance in Rick.  "You know Rick, we don't have to. Ahh." He stopped and took a breath. "This is a little awkward, but I guess I assumed I knew why you wanted to come back." His right hand came up and smoothed his hair back away from his eyes. "But I want to say that it’s all good. Nothing has gone beyond the point of no return so to speak." Daryl's expression was open and sincere as he met Rick's eyes. "We can stop right here, and never talk about it or acknowledge it again.  You could leave, even though I prefer you to stay, even if it’s just to sit and watch some TV. What I mean is, I don’t have any set expectations and either way, if it stops now or later, it's a private matter. No one has to know but us." He offered softly.

Ricks didn’t move as his mind spun the words around. Because it was almost tempting. It was almost tempting except that Daryl's bulging arm muscles, tight flat stomach, and unexpectedly honest words delivered in his confident, easy-going manner had caused things to stir in Rick's body and brain.

"No. I don’t want to leave." Rick replied evenly. "You're right about why I'm here."  A few short strides had him standing in front of the other man and he reached his hand out tentatively and placed it carefully on smooth bare skin above Daryl's hip and levelled his eyes with him.

Whatever tether had been holding Daryl back seemed to snap free then and he moved closer, wrapped his arms around Rick, and captured his mouth against his own lips.

Daryl was a good kisser. No, Daryl was a great kisser, Rick quickly realised. And his body was large and firm and.... comfortable, pressed against his own. They were almost exactly the same height, and although Rick was lean, he was strong, but still he felt almost overwhelmed by the bulk of the other man, which was an unfamiliar but not unwelcome feeling.

After a while Daryl drew away and indicated for Rick to follow him to the bedroom. Once there, Rick slipped out of his suit jacket and loosened his tie and allowed Daryl to undo his shirt buttons and remove his shirt. Then they come back together, naked torsos pressed to each other.

"I thought you looked good last night, and I was right." Daryl leaned down to kiss Rick's chest.

"You can talk. You're built like an athlete.  You must work out every day." Rick responded.

"Every other day." The reply was muffled against Rick's chest.

Daryl then divested Rick of his slacks, and removed his own track-pants, under which he wasn’t wearing anything.

"God." Rick exclaimed as he reached down and took Daryl's cock in his hand. "You're so big." And uncircumcised, he thought to himself, salivating slightly at the idea.

Daryl smiled and palmed Rick's erection through his boxers "Yeah well you've got nothing to be embarrassed about neither." He muttered.

They writhed against each other for some minutes before Daryl pulled Rick down onto the bed with him. Rick's body stiffened a little as he had another moment of uncertainty.

"Rick, you have, done this before?" Daryl asked gently, untangling their legs and removing his hand from where it had been on Rick's thigh and placing it on his upper arm instead.

"Yeah, I have, but it’s been a long time. And I haven't, ahhh… I mean, I’ve only….." Unlike in the courtroom, words failed him.

"You’ve only topped?" Daryl supplied and Rick nodded.

"Fine with me." Daryl said, now kissing Rick's neck in between words. "I don’t want you to do anything you're not comfortable with." He drew back and met his gaze. "I mean it."

Rick nodded, appeased, because there was something so genuine and trustworthy about the man in addition to his model physique, and at that he took over, pushing Daryl down onto the bed, raining kisses down his torso, down his belly and to his hard, uncut dick, which he kissed, then licked, then took almost fully into his mouth and sucked on.

"Ohhhhhhh god." Daryl groaned, and moaned and began to writhe under him, obviously struggling to keep his hips still. Daryl lasted about a minute before lightly batting Rick away. "Well, you don't seem out of practice."

Rick smiled modestly.  He had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed doing that. "Natural talent apparently. You can if you like.  Come in my mouth, I mean." The words felt strange, foreign as he answered a question that wasn’t asked, but he meant it. He was almost having trouble dealing with how incredibly turned on he was, it had been a very long time since he felt like this and would have liked very much to swallow Daryl completely. The man tasted amazing.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you talk like that and I may just come without being touched at all. But no," he leaned closer to whisper in Rick's ear "I want to come with your cock inside me."

Rick laughed, removing his briefs and palming his now completely hard, almost painfully so, cock.

Daryl stared appreciatively at him, before reaching over to his bedside drawer and removing a condom and bottle of lubricant.  He lay back on the bed, applied the lube to his fingers and started to work them inside himself. Rick was fascinated and continued to touch himself as he sat staring at the point where Daryl's fingers now disappeared into his own body. When Daryl made to insert a third finger, Rick asked "Can I?" The other man nodded and handed him the lubricant, which Rick applied to three of his fingers, and inserted two of them to begin with, then slowly, carefully added the third. He almost came apart as he watched Daryl writhe around on his fingers, and pulled them out, and pushed them in, in a coordinated effort to get the other man as prepped as possible.

"Mm ready now." Daryl's words were lower in tone and breathy.

Rick removed his fingers, then rolled on the condom, and applied a generous amount of lubricant.

When Daryl rolled over onto his hands and knees Rick noticed, _how could he not - there were so many_ , the criss-cross pattern of scars all over his back. He held his breath for a few beats as he wavered on the precipice of commenting on them, but he managed to stop himself. He knew from experience people didn't always feel like discussing this kind of thing, and that now was definitely not the best time.

Instead, he lightly brushed his fingertips over the worst scars in acknowledgement, before he grabbed the other man's hip with one hand and used the other to guide his hard dick inside of him. He pushed forward slowly savouring the tightness as it pressed around him, unable to hold back a groan as he carefully pushed all the way in. His groan had coincided with one from Daryl, and now fully sheathed, he grabbed both hips and leaned forward to whisper. "You ok?"

Daryl nodded. "God yes! I’ve been thinking about this all day. I want you to fucking rail me.” His voice was desperate.

Rick didn't need to be told twice. He moved in and out at a relentless pace, unable to keep at bay the pressure that was building in his body. It seemed more than physical as he pumped into the other man, and pressed forward towards a release, that god, when it did happen felt like a weight had been lifted, as he pulsed and pulsed into the tightness and moaned.

Daryl was just seconds behind him, and they came down together, collapsing onto their backs.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Rick removed and tied off the condom and they both tried to get their breathing under control.

"I may not be able to walk properly tomorrow." Daryl said without a sign of regret.

Rick looked over worried. "You did tell me to rail you. But I didn't actually _want_ to hurt you."

"S'ok, it's a good hurt." Daryl leaned over and gave Rick another kiss. "Was it like you remembered?"

"Better. I knew that ass would be." Rick smiled wickedly.

"Thought it might be my intelligence, wit and humour." Daryl feigned surprise.

But the reply was serious, as was the expression on Rick's face. "I suspect that helped."

"Maybe it's because you did what felt right for you." Daryl responded, getting closer to the truth than he had any right to, given how little they knew about each other.

Rick narrowed his eyes slightly.  "Are you planning to turn this into a cross examination?"

"Ya got me." Daryl admitted.

They lay in silence for a while, Daryl's hand lazily running up and down Rick's thigh and they both drifted off to sleep. When Rick woke, it was midnight.  He gently shook Daryl's shoulder. "It's late, I've got to go."

"You're welcome to stay." Daryl replied sleepily.

"Thanks, but I think I really need to sleep in my own bed tonight."

Rick sighed, about to say something about what they had both purposely avoided, but in a moment of clarity, he thought better of it and shut his mouth.

If this.. whatever... went much further, which realistically was unlikely, then they would have ample time to hash it out. And if it didn't go further, they could come to some kind of agreement to keep quiet for their mutual benefit. Daryl had already alluded to it, and that would be that. So there really was no point saying anything now.

"I don't, ahhh.. I think. I mean." Rick blew all the oxygen out of his lungs and took a deep breath. "I don't seem to be able to form a proper sentence at the moment." He shook his head ruefully.

"Why can't you be like that in court? It would make _my_ job so much easier." Daryl chuckled, causing Rick to flush.

"I think what I'm trying to say is, goodnight, and I had a good time. A great time, actually. I almost want to say thank you, but that feels overly-formal considering I had your cock in my mouth, and my dick in your ass." Rick finished, purposefully crassly.

Daryl laughed more heartily and more freely than Rick had heard him before.  "I think I know what yah mean." He lay back, sheet covering to his waist, hands under his head and watched Rick dress. "You know, you're welcome to come over any time.  I'm usually home from the gym by 8."

"Yeah, I think I will. Next week? The rest of this week is crazy, then my son is staying with me for the weekend."

"Next week is good." Daryl replied evenly.

Rick had finished dressing.  "I'll let myself out." He gave a small half wave and smile and walked to the door, then turned around and met Daryl's eyes. "Oh, and Dixon. Thanks."


	4. Chapter 4

Rick was glad he didn't see Daryl at work for the rest of the week.  As good as he was at compartmentalising, it would still have been awkward to see each other in the courtroom.

He hadn't been lying either, the week was a killer. He had events on every night and back to back meetings and court appearances each day.

On Friday afternoon though, he left work early in order to pick Carl up from school and take him to the baseball, which he still seemed to enjoy despite the teenage angst that so often surfaced these days.

Saturday morning Carl occupied himself whilst Rick put in a few hours of work from home, then they went out to shoot some hoops at the court around the corner. It was fun playing together and Rick was impressed at how much better his son was than last time they did this, which he eventually figured out to be six months ago. Time was passing so quickly.  They were both hot and sweaty by the end, collapsing in the shade of some trees near the court, sharing a bottle of water and joking good-heartedly about each other’s performance. Carl may have said something about him being ok for an old man.  Rick didn’t have to pretend to be offended as he lightly punched the cheeky kid in the shoulder.

On Sunday morning they went out for brunch and then caught the latest Marvel movie, and not long after it was time for Lori to collect Carl.

That afternoon Rick finally found himself at loose ends and he gave into thinking about Daryl Dixon.  So much so, he contemplated visiting him, but he didn't have his phone number, and he had said 'next week', so he felt a little awkward calling around early.  He didn't like the idea of appearing desperate or needy. Especially as he was definitely neither of those things.

Laying back on the couch his hand had drifted subconsciously to rub his cock while his thoughts were on the man, then he pulled it away slightly annoyed with himself. What was he, seventeen? Rick sighed and changed into shorts and trainers and went for out for a good fast run.

Still, as often happens when running, as the buildings and driveways gave way to his regular park trail, his mind continued to ponder and this time his thoughts drifted to the scars on Daryl's back. There were so many of them, criss-crossing all over. Rick wondered how they got there, but thought he had a pretty good idea. It was highly unlikely anyone could do that to an adult, and the scars were obviously old anyway. He found himself getting angry and running faster at the thought of how they had occurred and who might have been responsible.

He was suitably exhausted when he returned home and had arrived at a decision not to ask Daryl about the scars. He would let the man volunteer the information if, and when, he wanted. He might only see him one more time anyway, outside of work that was.

Rick was exhausted from the run, but still couldn't help but touch himself in the shower; Water cascading over his warm skin, leaning forward with one hand supporting himself against the wall as the other worked furiously to achieve his orgasm.

***********************

After the weekend Rick then found that he was busy on Monday and Tuesday evenings, so it was Wednesday again by the time he managed to leave work on time, head home to shower and change into his go-to slim fit dark jeans, white T-Shirt and navy v-neck sweater, and boots of course, and head over to Daryl's place.  He carried another six pack of Coors.

Rick almost felt nervous ringing the door-bell. Almost.  Daryl answered the door in loose jeans and an old Metallica T-Shirt.  He smiled and appraised Rick slowly, obviously liking what he saw. "Ain't never seen you dressed in anything other than a suit." He opened the door wider to allow him in.

Rick had noticed last time he was here that Daryl's southern accent was more pronounced outside of work but didn't mention it. His was probably the same too.

Rick held up the beer. "I wouldn't mind one tonight.  I haven't had a drink since the bar last week."

Daryl nodded and headed to the kitchen to deposit the beers and open two of them. He returned and handed one to Rick and motioned to the oversized, slightly worn leather couch. They sat down, with a polite gap between them.

Rick felt a little lost for words. So much of his life was wrapped up in his job, and that was the one thing he couldn't discuss with Daryl.

"How was your weekend with your kid?" Daryl asked, breaking the silence, blue eyes meeting his own.

"Good. Really good actually. Took him to the game on Friday night, bummed around together for a while on the weekend. He's fourteen. His name's Carl." Rick offered. "But you know, he's fourteen goin on thirty. We played some basketball and I realised how tall he’s gotten and he seems so old now. Shit, _I'm_ old." He said rubbing his hand over his face. "He's moody at times, but all in all he's a great kid, and I think he had a good weekend. I hope so. I did."

"You see him every second weekend?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to sort out more time. Lor.. ahh, my ex is open to it, but work at the moment.  You know how it is."  It wasn’t a question.

Daryl nodded. "Yeah I know how it is.  But it's important and he's only gonna be a kid for a little while longer. Prioritise the hell out of that if you can. For him and for you." Daryl let the words sink in for a while and then seemed to worry he’d said too much. "Still, who am I to say? Sounds like you try pretty hard the times you do see him, and that's the most important thing, letting them know you care."

Rick nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"So, ahh, just the one kid, then?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, just the one." Rick spoke, a little tightly this time, with a hard look on his face, which Daryl must have noticed but didn't comment on.

"What about you?" Rick asked.

"No, no kids for me.  Not even a possibility of one poppin up out of the blue, I ain't never even been with a woman."

Rick nodded.  He felt a little strange opening up, but there was something about Daryl that made him easy to talk to. "I was with guys when I was younger, in school and at uni. No girls until Lori, my now ex-wife. She was my first girlfriend, met her right at the end of college."

"And now, guys?" Daryl questioned.

"And now, well, I don't know. What do the kids say these days? ‘It’s complicated.’ Let's put it this way, no one at all for a long time now. I was with one woman for about a year, but that ended, shit, almost three years ago."

Daryl nodded. "Yeah, it's easier that way sometimes. And with the kind of hours our work demands, sometimes it's easy to forget to have a life outside of it."

Rick nodded.  "I don't usually talk to people about this stuff. You're not recording this conversation are you?" He exaggerated gesturing around the apartment. "Because you know, even though I'm not exactly out of the closet, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was outed." He was only partly joking, and also mostly bluffing.

"Don't worry, my place ain't bugged. And whilst I am basically "out", it wouldn't do my career any favours to be seen talking to you."

They were both almost finished their beers. Rick nodded and relaxed a little. "So, no kids, but what about other family?"

"Just a Brother who I don't see a lot at the moment. My parents are both gone."

"Mine too."

They stared at each other.

"Want another?" Daryl asked motioning to Rick's empty beer.

"Nah. Thanks. Might use the bathroom though."

Rick made his way to the bathroom and used the toilet. He stared at himself in the mirror, knowing what it was he wanted.  When he came out, Daryl was standing in the doorway to his bedroom. Eyes smouldering, reflecting Rick’s own desire. Lips slightly parted.

Rick's breath seemed to have a habit of hitching when he saw Daryl like that, and it did so again now as he moved forwards, grabbed Daryl by the upper arms and pushed him bodily in through the door and backed him up to the bed. He had been uncharacteristically patient so far, maybe actually enjoying their conversation, but now he couldn't wait to put his hands all over this man.

"Mmmmm." Daryl said in an almost tortured moan as Rick pressed their lips together and they fell onto the bed.

Rick was used to being fully present in a moment. He had to be for work, but he was also used to juggling a lot of different things at the same time, but this was something different to all of that as his single focus became to be as close as possible to as much of the other man as possible. There was no hesitation this time as he removed clothing from both of them and ran his hands and then his mouth over as much of Daryl's bare skin as he could, eventually removing his jeans and crouching between his legs to again take that magnificent cock into his mouth.

It was so hard and thick, and Daryl was making the most amazing sounds that Rick knew there was nothing anyone could say or do this time that would make him stop before the other man came in his mouth.

He heard Daryl's moans become louder and sensed him tightening his fists in the bed sheets, but did not stop his relentless sucking in and out until a short time later Daryl's body tensed and his smaller moans were replaced with a long "oooohhhhhhhh." and warm ejaculate spurted into Rick's mouth.

Rick didn't do anything by halves, and he swallowed quickly to keep up with the amount and managed to stop any leaking from his mouth.

He licked slowly at Daryl's softening cock, focussing on the slit before slowing pulling off. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and looked at the other man's post orgasm blown out expression.

He leaned forward and trailed kisses up his torso to his collar bone, where he sucked for a while before kissing him on the mouth.

"That mouth is even better outside of a courtroom than in." Daryl joked, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him down. He hooked his feet around Rick's and flipped them over so Rick was laying flat on his back with Daryl on top of him.

Daryl started trailing kisses down Rick's neck to his torso, stopping momentarily at the scar on Rick's side, before moving his mouth further down to take Rick's hard cock in. Daryl sucked him for a few minutes before Rick rasped. "I want, I mean, if it's ok, I want to fuck you again."

Daryl looked up and nodded with his eyes, slowly drawing his mouth off. He sat up and opened the bed side drawer, removing the lubricant and condoms. Rick picked up the lubricant and applied it to his fingers as Daryl rolled into hands and knees.

Rick prepared him gently but as quickly as he could, and once he had the condom on, slowly pressed inside him. He fucked him at a moderate pace, wanting to savour it a little more than before, and also wanting to ensure he didn't hurt him again, if in fact he had the first time. Between all the various stimulations however, his orgasm didn't take long to achieve.

Rick sighed long and hard as he emptied into the condom.

Once he withdrew and wrapped up the condom and cleaned them up with tissues, he lay down next to Daryl.

Both men were silent for a while, lost in their own minds, unsure of what to say.

After a while Rick rose from the bed. "Better head home." He muttered.

"Sure."

They both dressed and Daryl followed Rick to the door.

"See you again?" He asked gruffly.

"Yeah." Rick turned around and looked him in the eyes. "Yeah, next week?"

"Alright." Daryl nodded.

Rick gave a small smile and walked out feeling a little like he was forgetting something.


	5. Chapter 5

The following Monday Rick placed a quick call to Lori and after confirming it was ok, cleared his afternoon schedule, and was waiting at the school gate at 3pm when Carl came out. The smile on his son's face was carefully contained as he said goodbye to his friends, but Rick could tell he was happy and he mentally congratulated himself for making the time, and Daryl, for forcing the point in his quiet easy way.

He took Carl to a local cafe and sipped his coffee as his son ate cake and recounted his day at school.

The way the boy chattered on was carefree and spontaneous in a way Rick hadn't experienced with him in a long time. He was genuinely in stitches as Carl described his English teachers’ eccentric sense of dress, and his math teacher who had taken to marking everyone harder since he gave up smoking. When had his son gotten so old and clever and, well, funny?

After the cafe they went back to Rick's place where he helped Carl with his homework, although Rick was mostly just proud he could keep up. Then they watched TV for a short time before Lori arrived.

"I'm glad you did this." Lori said. "Any chance of making it a permanent arrangement?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, I hope so. I'm going to try." Rick ran his hands through his hair. "It was good. Really good to see him and talk about his day." He leaned back against the hallway wall.

"He misses you." Lori added.

"I know, I miss him too." He sighed. It had been a while since he and Lori had really had a conversation. "How about you? How are you going?" He appraised her carefully. After all this time, Rick was still taken aback by how beautiful she was. Standing here in a perfectly fitting black skirt suit, high heels and natural makeup he knew had taken her ages to apply just right. Her long shiny hair was swept back in a loose ponytail. Yet somehow despite the professional attire, she still looked so young.

"Good. Busy, you know. Judith just started High School, so that's kept me a little busy too."

Rick smiled thinly and tried not to double-take. He hadn't seen Judith for at least five years, so she had remained a little girl in his mind. Despite his best efforts, the pain must have shown on his face.

"I wish." Lori placed a hand on his arm. "it had been........" she trailed off.

"I know Lori, I know, me too." He said tiredly. He looked into her eyes. "You're looking well. Good, you look good."

"Thanks Rick. As do you." She hesitated and he noticed a flicker of something in her eyes. "Shane..." Those huge eyes met Rick's briefly and dropped again. "Shane was wondering if he could see you. To talk to you." The words hung in the air that had grown thick when she mentioned his name. She caught his eyes again. "I know it's out of the blue, but I, and he, would appreciate if you would think about it." She finished.

Rick sighed and tried to control his expression as he nodded imperceptibly. "I'll think about it." His way of terminating the discussion. "I'll see you on Sunday when I drop off Carl." He said as Carl ambled to the door.

"Have a great week Carl, I'll see you on Friday."

"Thanks Dad."

They waved goodbye and Rick walked back inside. He knew he should have his emotions under control after all this time. He tried to mull it over. He hadn't spoken to Shane in a decade. He had seen him from a distance, and just lately they had started exchanging nods across the expanse of Shane and Lori's front lawn when they saw each other dropping off or picking up Carl, but to manage to stay out of each other's orbit was no mean feat considering his son lived under the same roof as the man.

Tuesday ended up being a difficult day for Rick because he wasn't overly busy. The new case had been delayed so there wasn't any urgency around it right now and it was a rare day where he could spend the whole of it in his office, no court appearances and no meetings.  He found his thoughts drifting occasionally to Shane and Lori, but mostly to Dixon.

He couldn't help but sigh and look away from his work. What was happening? He'd been with this guy twice. What the hell was he doing? Yes he'd always found him attractive, and intelligent, and they seemed to have similar views and opinions on a lot of things, not to mention he had the most amazing body... God, just thinking about it could fill Rick's cock, which was most inconvenient as he sat at his office desk.

But he knew better than this. Pursuing anything real with this man was unrealistic with their careers, and he was pretty sure Daryl felt the same way.

Rick had always been comfortable with the fact that he was sexually attracted to both men and women, but as an adult he had only had relationships with women, and he had never been in a proper ‘out’ relationship with a man.  Guys had been a release, but he had never previously had a real emotional connection with any.  Well, he had had that with Shane, but they had been close friends and although Rick could admit his former best friend was a good-looking man, and they had shared a strong bond, heck, had been almost like brothers, there were never any sexual feelings towards each other.

What did the younger generation call it? Fuck buddies? There was probably another name for it, but that would do. That was basically how it had been with other guys.  That's how he should leave it with Daryl, despite how many other boxes he happened to tick.  No emotional investment, no strings, no talking about deceased parents or scars. No coming out to the many people who didn’t already know he was Bi. They wouldn't need to discuss work, and they were mutually invested in never mentioning it to anyone else.

He pondered this for most of the day before finally getting some urgent work done late in the afternoon. He left work at 7pm, went home and changed to go out for a run. He returned after an hour, showered, was finally able to concentrate on work. At midnight he turned off his laptop and went to bed.

Wednesday was thankfully busy and he managed to focus on his court appearance and subsequent meetings and not think about anything unrelated to his cases.

He rang Daryl's doorbell at exactly 8pm and gave a shy smile when the other man appeared, wearing only jeans.

It was on the tip of his tongue to compliment him on his body, and how amazing he looked, but he refrained, uncertain if that was within the realm of what his definition of fuck buddy was going to be.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I forgot to bring the beer." Rick said, just realising he was empty-handed.

"No problem, I have beer here. You want one?"

"No not really." Rick chuckled.

"So you're not here to drink beer with me?" Daryl flirted in his under-stated way.

"No. Been thinking about things other than beer, actually." Rick admitted.

Daryl smiled and reached behind Rick to close the door and then pushed him back up against it. "Was this more like what you were thinking." He asked before trapping Rick's lips against his own. Rick responded in the affirmative by passionately returning the kiss.

They stumbled in their embrace to Daryl's bed where they quickly undressed. Rick had his fingers into Daryl quickly, and when Daryl went to roll onto his stomach, he stopped him with a hand on his chest and pushed him back on the bed. Even if they were just using each other for sex, this time Rick wanted to see more of Daryl while they did it.

He entered him slowly, then wrapped a hand around the other man's cock and moved his hand up and down in time with thrusting in and out.

In a feat of coordination, he placed all his weight on his left hand, and leaned forward to kiss Daryl, whilst still thrusting and jerking his dick.

It took only minutes for both of them to come, after which Rick was withdrawing, removing the condom and laying down, breathing heavily.

Daryl trailed a hand lazily over Rick's chest.

"I took your advice, saw my son after school on Monday night." He said, turning his head to look at Daryl, once he'd caught his breath.

Daryl smiled. "I bet he was happy to see you."

"He was. He was super chatty and open too, it was great to talk to him like that. Not sure yet if I can make it a regular thing, but I'm going to try."

"Good for you."

"So why don't you see your brother?" Rick asked after a pause, mentally berating himself for delving into exactly the kind of things he had decided he wouldn't.

"Ahh, it's mostly geographical. He's in New York State right now. Has been for the past year, and probably has another year before he can get a transfer back here to Atlanta."

Rick stared at him for a while processing the information, before figuring out what Daryl was saying. "Your brother's in Attica?" To say he was surprised was an under-statement.

Daryl nodded slowly, his expression unreadable.

"Does Negan know this?"

"Are you kidding? I’d be out on my arse before I knew it.”

Rick frowned. "What the hell is he doing in Attica? Why not US Pen?"

Daryl sighed. “It’s hard to imagine if you haven't met Merle, but maybe just think about what the opposite to Good Behaviour is, and that should help you understand."

"What did your brother do, Daryl?" Rick was wondering if he'd mis-judged the reason for Daryl's scars.

"Drugs. Mostly. Did lots of em, sold lots of em. Sold some of em to the wrong people too often. And also, there was an armed hold-up. That was definitely the stupidest thing ole Merle did, in a long, long list of stupid." Daryl didn't show much emotion. Rick figured he had reconciled with this a long time ago.

"Must be hard."

"Yeah. But there's worse things. I saw him about six months ago. When he gets transferred back to Atlanta I can catch him every month or so. And at least I know he's getting fed now, and he's off the junk."

Rick was starting to doze a few minutes later when Daryl asked. "So why is it you've read my paper?"

"Hmmmm." Rick said sleepily, before remembering he had commented on it that first drunken night. "Oh. It was my speciality when I started practicing law, it's... well, it's an issue close to my heart. I thought it was excellent. Really insightful and detailed."

"I have a good friend who runs a women and children's shelter, she really helped with my research, she put me in touch with all the right people."

"Some people are just amazing. I was planning on doing something to help kids, it's one of the reasons I decided to get into law. But instead I do whatever it is I do now." Rick looked sad.

Daryl looked like he would enquire further if Rick hadn’t looked so tired. They lay together for a while, dozing before it was time for Rick to leave.

Daryl walked him to the door, and before Rick could open it he leaned over and kissed him. Rick was mildly surprised, but he happily returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Daryl, pulling him tight and kissing him fiercely. They drew apart both smiling and Rick turned and left.

This time he didn't feel so much like he was forgetting something, but it did make it a little difficult to leave. That last kiss with the other man had stirred him up and he felt himself getting hard again. He shook his head as he walked away, reminding himself of what kind of relationship they had.

***********************

The next Wednesday when he visited Daryl it was much the same. Great sex, quiet smiles, a little conversation, a little more of a window into each other's lives.

If Rick was honest with himself, each time he saw Daryl he realised he liked him a little more, and that there were an increasing number of similarities in their thinking and philosophy and even in their humour. But Rick had had years of practice at not being honest with himself, so mostly there was a lot _not_ said, particularly anything about work, or about what they were beginning to mean to each other.

It was the same the next Wednesday. And the next.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been about two months-worth of gratifyingly casual Wednesday evening hook-ups as Rick rang Daryl’s doorbell at 8pm.  He was lost in thought over how lucky they had been not to have to work together all this time and was unprepared for what greeted him.

"Hey." Daryl huffed with a pained look on his face. He was wearing old shorts and a dirty threadbare T-shirt and he looked like hell. He was hunched over and there was a thin veil of sweat covering his skin. His hair was a stringy mess.

"Jesus Daryl, what's wrong?"

Rick closed the door quickly and held out his hand to support Daryl's elbow, because he genuinely looked like he might collapse.

"Dunno. Didn’t feel great when I woke up this morning. Got to work but had to leave at lunch time. Been vomiting and running to the toilet ever since. Sorry man, would have called you but didn't have your number... And to be honest, kinda forgot, I've been asleep for the past few hours, bell woke me up."

"Hey it's ok." Rick continued holding him up. "I think we need to get you back to bed." He led Daryl to the bedroom.

Daryl nodded, but then brought his hands up to his mouth. "Bathroom." He hissed before breaking free of Rick and ducking into the bathroom, bending over the toilet and heaving, which seemed to go on for a long time, before standing up and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

"Sorry. This is disgusting." He looked on the verge of collapse.

"Shit Daryl, no need to apologise, you're sick. It's not like I've never been around sick people. I have a kid remember. Here, come and lay down." Rick finally led him back into bed. "Do you have a bucket?" He asked after settling him down.

"Yeah, in the laundry off the kitchen."

Rick went into the kitchen, realising despite how small Daryl's apartment was and how he’d been here almost a dozen times, he'd never ventured in there before.

He located a bucket, gave it a rinse then brought it into the bedroom. "It's here on the floor next to you. Are you in any pain?" He felt Daryl's forehead. Although clammy, he didn't appear to have a fever.

"Nah, aside from my stomach is a churning mess, but no actual pain."

“What did you eat yesterday? Anything that could’ve been dodgy, or out of the ordinary?”

“No, vegetables and rice for dinner. It was fine.”

"It's probably a bad gastro bug then. You don’t have a temperature or localised pain so it’s not appendicitis. But let me know if there's any specific pain. You’ll need to keep your fluids up, I'll get you some water." He looked back to make sure Daryl had heard him and only left when Daryl gave a small nod.

Rick helped him sip the water when he returned with the glass.

"No more. Think I'm gonna be sick again." Daryl said, reaching for the bucket, which Rick passed to him, but he just held onto it weakly and there was no heaving.

"Thanks man for this." Daryl whispered. "Think I might just have to sleep it off, why don't you head home, I'm sure I'll be fine next week."

"Huh." Said Rick smiling and shaking his head. "I'm not just leaving you here like this, you look just shy of needing to go to hospital, frankly, and I'm staying in case you get worse.  Go back to sleep, but sing out if you need anything, I'll be in the living room."

Daryl looked like he was about to argue but stopped because he didn't have the energy. He nodded and closed his eyes.

Rick wandered out to the kitchen and made himself a coffee. Daryl’s fridge was neatly stocked with way more food that his own. He must cook for himself because the crisper was full of fresh fruit and vegetables. In comparison, his own fridge was usually full of instant dinners and condiments in various stages of expiration. Even when Carl stayed, they usually went out for meals other than breakfast.

He looked through the bookcase in the living room for something to read, noting the various law volumes that you might expect to find in any lawyer’s home and for the first time since he could remember, selected a novel. One by Ayn Rand that he had started reading in college but never made it past the first chapter.

When he heard a noise from Daryl's room at 11pm, he was on his second coffee, well past the first chapter and completely engrossed.  It was the first night in a long time where he didn't have his laptop and hadn't even picked up his phone to check emails or the news.  He didn't even have the TV on.

He had looked in on Daryl half an hour earlier and he had been sleeping soundly.

When he heard the noise he jumped up and strode quickly to the bedroom. Daryl was leaning over the bed heaving into the bucket.

"Don't worry about that, I'll clean it up." Daryl murmured.

"Yeah, I don't think so. Have you seen yourself lately." Rick joked gently. "Think you can stop chundering long enough for me to empty it?"

"Maybe." He answered, eyes fluttering closed.

Rick held his breath as he emptied the bucket into the toilet then rinsed it in the laundry sink and returned and sat on the bed gently.

"I'd ask if you were feeling any better, but I think I know the answer." He said.

"I can't fucking believe this. I haven't been this sick in twenty years." Daryl offered weakly. "Actually, hardly ever been sick at all. Never had a sick day from work."

"Yeah, well it happens to the best of us. Or so I've heard." Rick joked.

"Watch it man, I could infect you."

"No way, I never get sick." Rick replied confidently.

"Yeah, neither do I." Daryl deadpanned, looking anything but his usual picture of health.

"Get some more sleep, I'm going to sleep out on the couch."

"You don't have to do that. I'll be ok."

"I don't mind." Rick said, rubbing Daryl's arm absently before he left the room with a small smile, pondering that it was actually true.  He was genuinely concerned about Daryl and there was no way he could leave him here alone. He didn’t even find it an inconvenience.

Daryl was sick again once during the night, Rick waking up to empty the bucket, give him some water and then head back to sleep on the couch.

When he next woke it was 6am. His neck was stiff and his back creaked as he moved. During the night he had started considering the possibility he might need to take the day off work but he did have a court appearance in the morning, although luckily it was just an order for a change of hearing date.

Considering it for a moment first, he typed off a quick text message to his colleague Michonne asking if she could fill in for him. It was the first time in his career he had ever even considered asking that of someone. Minutes later she replied in the affirmative.  He would really owe her for this.

He wandered into Daryl's bedroom. The patient was still asleep, so he left used the bathroom then made himself a coffee.

He was on his second coffee of the morning and almost halfway through the book when he heard movement.

"Shit, what's the time?" Daryl groaned when Rick walked into his room.

"7am. I'd offer to call your boss to let him know you're sick today, but that's probably not a smart idea. Where's your phone, so you can call?"

"Nah, it's ok. I'm going to go in." Daryl protested.

Rick watched with a mild smile as Daryl tried to get out of bed before grimacing and doubling over the bucket yet again.

"Your phone?"

"Yeah ok. Top drawer over there." Daryl motioned to the chest of drawers past Rick.

Rick passed him the phone and left the room and closed the door so he could have some privacy.

A few minutes later Daryl trudged out. "Won't you be late for work?" He asked Rick.

"Called in sick." Rick responded.

A strange look passed across Daryl's face, which turned into a small surprised smile. "Really?"

Rick nodded.

Daryl looked like he might say more, but his face twisted "Excuse me" he murmured before ducking into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. From the sounds he heard, Rick decided he didn't want to be anywhere in the vicinity so stayed on the couch reading until Daryl emerged ten minutes later.

"Might not want to go in there for a while." He suggested weakly.

"Yeah, don't worry, I won't." Rick answered laughing.

"I can't fucking believe there is anything left inside my body to come out. This is ridiculous."

"You seem to have a really bad case of it. How do you feel otherwise?"

"Now that you mention it, my head is pounding."

"Well that I can help with, where's the Asprin? Tylenol ?"

"Nah man, like I said, I never get sick. I got nothing here ‘cept band aids and iodine."

"Right, well I'm going to pop around to the store and grab a few things. Also some more coffee because I've almost used yours up.  I'm guessing you don't feel like anything to eat?"

Daryl grimaced as though he was going to be sick at the thought and shook his head. "Key's on the kitchen counter, I'm going back to bed."

It was a beautiful sunny morning and Rick took his time strolling to the local shops and popping into the drug store, then the market where he also picked up a charger for his phone.

Daryl was asleep when he returned so he placed everything in the kitchen, plugged his phone into charge and settled in on the couch to read and eat the bagel he had bought for breakfast.

He was concerned for Daryl, but knew the bug would probably pass quickly, so mostly he just hated seeing the other man unwell.  When he allowed himself to stop and think about it, he realised he felt very protective of him and was completely comfortable in the role of carer.

It was slowly dawning on him that he might have to start re-assessing the fuck-buddy status considering he was here playing hookey from work for the first time in his life, eating bagels, reading and playing nurse-maid to the other man, and was completely content to do so.

Rick frowned and sighed because it was all a bit too confusing to think about and he was tired.  He hadn't slept well last night so he got up from the couch and went and lay down in the bed next to Daryl, snuggling gently up behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story. The day after publishing the 'Gastro' chapter, I got food poisoning! Not that funny really, just funny timing.. I mean, I wrote most of that over a year ago, and I haven't been sick like that for years, but the day after putting it up.. I did a Daryl. I made it to work, got sick after lunch and came home and alternated between sleeping and being sick for the next few hours. Oh well. It really has seemed to be a 24hour thing too... Feeling heaps better now!

It was late morning when they both woke again.

"Hey," Rick said. "Sorry, I was tired." He said by way of explanation for being in the bed.

"Hey, it's ok, it's nice." Daryl said groggily. "I just really hope you don't get this."

"Not going to happen." He said confidently.  They lay there for a while before Rick reached his hand over and place it on Daryl’s forehead. "How's the headache?"

"Awful. Still pounding."

He rose. "I've got some tylenol for you, and also some electrolyte drinks to keep you hydrated." He fetched them from the kitchen.

"Can't believe you took the day off." Daryl said after taking a few small sips of the blue energy drink.

"I know, especially as was to bring you drinks, clean up vomit and wipe your arse."

Daryl chuckled. "You haven't had to wipe my arse. Yet."

"Haha, no. It's such a nice arse too, I can't wait until it's feeling better." Rick joked.

"God don't make me laugh, I'll probably vomit. Or shit myself."

"That would be unfortunate." Rick agreed laughing. "Do you want to sleep a bit longer?"

"I don't know, could maybe try to watch some TV on the couch. But first I'm going to try for a shower."

"Ok, sing out if you need any help."

After his shower Daryl padded out to the living room in clean clothes. He sat down right next to Rick, thighs touching as they searched cable for something to watch.

When Game of Thrones popped up, they grinned at each other.

"Where are you up to?" Daryl asked.

"A bit behind actually. End of Season six." Rick admitted. "Haven't had a chance to watch season seven yet. "

"I've only seen the first few episodes of Season seven, I don't mind back tracking."

Daryl fell asleep during the first episode, laying along the couch with his legs resting on Rick, so Rick watched the next two before gently shaking him.

"Hey." He said groggily.

"I'm up to episode four, do you think you could stay awake for it?"

Daryl nodded and they watched two episodes together before realising it was late afternoon.

"Are you feeling any better?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, I think I am. I haven't needed to run to the toilet for hours."

"Think you could try to eat something?"

"Fuck no."

Rick laughed and went to make himself a sandwich for lunch.

Whilst he was eating Daryl looked at him. "You know, I’ve never asked, but I have been wondering about the scar on your side. What happened?"

Rick was surprised. "You don't know?"

"Ahhh, no. Should I?"

"It's just that everyone I meet in legal circles seems to already know about it." He hedged.

"No, I don't know, but then I've only been here for five years.  Moved here from Kings County."

"Really. How did I not know that? I grew up kinda near there too, although I moved around a bit."

"Maybe because we try pretty hard not to talk about some fairly important things." Daryl suggested gently. "So why would I know? What, did you get knifed at the courthouse or something?" He asked with a smile.

His expression turned serious and his eyes widened as he watched Rick hesitate. "Please say that didn't happen."

Rick sighed, not because he minded telling Daryl, but more at the memory. "I used to be a cop. Got shot on duty. Decided afterwards to become a lawyer."

"No shit. You were a cop?"

"Yeah." He answered weakly. "Got what we thought was a fairly routine traffic call. My partner Shane and I responded along with another unit. We thought we had it covered. I actually got shot in my vest first, then I made the stupid mistake of turning around to say something to Shane when I got shot again, a fluke, just underneath the vest. I was in a coma for three months, and when I got back to work it just wasn't the same." Rick finished the last sentence quickly, but of course you couldn't just ignore the whole coma thing.

"A coma. For three months?" Daryl's voice became probably as high pitched as it ever got, which was not very. "You're kidding me. Shit man, so you're lucky as fuck to be alive?"

Rick nodded. "Yep. I was pretty lucky." He said without conviction. "Went back to college, crammed four years into two because I didn't have to work thanks to my injury pay-out, and because I was obsessed with getting into law."

Rick was starting to like Daryl a lot, but there was so much they couldn't say, and then all the rest of it, the stuff he _could_ talk about, he didn’t know how to. Shane. Lori. God, _Judith_.  He had only just touched on some of it with his last girlfriend, Andrea and they were together for a year. He hadn't shared it with anyone else other than the people that were around back then, like Maggie. It was all too depressing.

"Yeah, I know that feeling, being obsessed with the study." Daryl could obviously tell Rick wasn't one hundred percent comfortable, so he changed the subject and they had a fairly animated conversation about which cars they preferred, and then a gun verses crossbow discussion. Daryl apparently liked to hunt with his crossbow, although how he managed to find time to do that whilst living in the city was beyond Rick. Despite having been shot, Rick still loved guns and tried to get to the range whenever he could, which was less and less these days.

The afternoon passed easily, and eventually Rick decided to stay the night again. He took a shower and borrowed some boxers and fell into bed again snuggling up to the other man. He drifted off feeling comfortable and content.

The next morning Daryl thankfully looked and seemed a lot better. He was still obviously weak, and wasn't going to make it to work, or at least, he shouldn’t go to work… whether he did or not was another story, but at least he didn't look like he was about to keel over, and he hadn't been sick for over twelve hours.

Rick hugged him and kissed him goodbye on the forehead, went home to shower and change and to go to work.  It was his weekend with Carl, so he would be picking him up from school that afternoon, meaning he wouldn't be able to check on Daryl for a few days.

He made a good attempt to pay attention at work, but by Midday couldn't handle it anymore.  In frustration and not knowing what else to do, he went to Michonne's office and asked if she had Dixon's number, because he knew she had argued a number of cases against him.

She didn't bat an eyelid when he explained he wanted to talk to Daryl about an old case, but he knew she had to find it a little odd. Still, she handed over the mobile phone number without asking any questions, just muttering something about owing her even more now.

Rick tried not to run out of her office in his haste to make the phone call. Then once behind his desk with the receiver in hand he hesitated. He couldn't call Daryl from work. He shouldn't really call him at all. They didn't have the kind of relationship anyway, did they? He looked at the number scrawled on one of Michonne's note pad pages, he ran his hands through his hair, sighed, looked out the window. He repeated this routine a few times before jumping up, going outside to pick up a coffee, then sitting back down to work until it was time to leave for Carl's school.

Rick was glad his son was such a chatterbox that afternoon as he was able to just smile and nod. This carried him through most of the weekend, Carl only picking up on it on Sunday morning.

"You alright, Dad?" Breaking Rick out of his reprieve, because truth be told, he had spent a large part of the weekend worrying about Daryl and talking himself out of calling the man.

"Yeah, yeah I am son, thanks for asking."

"You've been really quiet this weekend. Is it work?"

Rick looked at his son with fondness, wondering how much his own work hours, let alone Shane and Lori's affected the boy. It was on the tip of his tongue to say yes it was work.

"Actually, I've been a little worried about a friend. But it's ok. I'm sure they're fine." He explained.

Carl seemed satisfied with that, and a few hours later Lori arrived.

"Have you given any thought to meeting with Shane?" She tried to sound casual but Rick could see she cared more than she was letting on.

He had compartmentalised without realising it. So much so that he had managed not to think about it at all, so he made his decision right then on the spot.

"Yeah. Ok. I'll meet with him."

Lori, who looked slightly tense now looked relieved. "Thank you so much Rick. I know it's a big ask, but I really appreciate it. And I know Shane will too."

"You sort out when and let me know. I'll make sure I'm available." He added.

"Ok. I'll let you know."

Rick gave Carl a hug goodbye, then when they left, he ducked into the shower, shaved and dressed in tight jeans and a red casual button-down shirt and boots. He tugged a brush through the curls but didn't try too hard. History had taught him the less he did with his hair, the better it usually looked.

Then he locked up his apartment and jumped into a waiting taxi. He was so desperate to get to see Daryl he almost forgot to pay the driver at the other end.

"Get a grip, Grimes." He muttered. "You are not a fucking teenager." He told himself, not for the first time in the past few months.

He took a deep breath and pressed the button at number fourteen.


	8. Chapter 8

"Thought about bringing you flowers." Rick quipped when a bright-eyed Daryl answered the door. "You look about a million times better." Rick said and thought to himself _a million times better than everyone else_ and then had a moment where he wondered if he'd said it aloud.

Daryl gave his lopsided smile. "I feel about a million times better." He leaned in and kissed Rick deeply. "Thanks in part, to you."

"Nah, I didn't do anything."

"Really? When was the last time you took a sick day?"

"When Carl was born." Rick answered meekly, as he wrapped his arms around Daryl and thought about how nice it felt.

"So, it's not Wednesday is it? I wasn't sick for longer than I realised?"

"Ha, very funny. No, it's Sunday. I just, well I was worried about you." _I couldn't wait to see you._ "I almost rang you." He admitted, although not explaining he had gone so far to obtain his number.

"Yeah, about that." Daryl looked serious.

"No.” Rick was serious too as he stared into Daryl’s eyes. “Not now. I know we need to have that conversation soon. Very soon. But...."

"After..." Daryl agreed, kissing into Rick's mouth further, grasping his upper arms and pressing their bodies together.

They moaned and moved together and made the short, familiar walk to the bedroom.

"Are you sure you're ok? We don't have to do anything. Honestly, I only came over to make sure you're ok, and hang ou..."

"Completely better Rick, and I want you so badly." Daryl cut him off.

Rick nodded. They had come to know each other's bodies well over the past two months and it didn't take long for Daryl to be ready for Rick to enter him. Rick moved slowly and looked directly into Daryl's eyes before leaning down to kiss him deeply.

It was slow, delicious and very intense. Rick didn't try to go faster or rush, he just continued moving in and out of Daryl, stroking the other man in sync.

"Oh fuuuck Rick." Daryl screamed as he came.

Rick managed to stay quiet, not removing his eyes from Daryl's as he came, leaning in to engage in more long slow kisses.

"Let's have a shower." He suggested after. It was something they hadn't done before, and it turned out Daryl's shower was pretty tiny, but they managed to wash each other whilst mostly connected at the lips.

They each dressed in underwear before Rick announced. "I guess this is a 'laying in bed kind of conversation'?"

Daryl nodded. "Absolutely."

The both sat down on the bed, propped up against pillows and the wall.

Rick literally sighed. "So."

"So."

"I assume the reason we both haven't spoken about this is because there really isn't any solution."

Daryl nodded.

"The same reason we're nervous about even calling each other, because we don't want anyone tracing our calls."

They weren't being completely paranoid. The News of the World scandal in England had caused shock waves in many countries, throughout many occupations. Most law firms had implemented processes and strict privacy regulations in response, but even so, people had been caught out.

"There’s no actual law against dating someone from opposing counsel.” Rick started.

Daryl nodded. “That’s right, we wouldn’t be the only ones to do it, even though some might see it as inappropriate.”

“The problem is with Negan. And Phillip.” Rick added.

“The problem is with Phillip.” Daryl corrected.

Rick shook his head. “Philip may have started it, but Negan is really the problem now.”

They glared at each other for a few moments.

“So. This is going well.” Rick quipped, before breaking into a rueful smile.

Daryl sighed.  “It’s a running bad joke at the pub when he’s not around,” Daryl added. “He won the election, lost the wife.

“Honestly, how that man was ever elected, I will never understand. He’s so fake and over the top. How do you work for him?” Rick mused.

“He’s very charismatic and he knows how to say the right thing. People respond to him and they voted for it.  And if he likes you, he’s your best friend.”

“And he likes _you_.” Rick supplied.

“He’s given me a lot of opportunities. I wouldn’t made it to Assistant District Attorney if it wasn’t for him.” Daryl met his eyes. “I’m not blind, I know he’s not perfect, but one thing you can say for Negan, he has the utmost respect for women and children and he has been 100% supportive of the cases I’ve wanted to take. Sure he can be a dick, but he would never steal another man’s wife.” Daryl added, eyes narrowing.

Rick nodded grudgingly. “I don’t even know why I defend him. Habit, I guess. Philip really is the worst. He’s a total ass and at this point I can’t say anything good about him.  At least with a narcissist like Negan what you see is what you get. But Philip pretends to be something different. He’s a sociopath and his brother’s no better.”  He smiled wryly. “I met Lucille for the first time at the Christmas party this year.  She really is stunning.”

“Oh, so you’d got for it?” Daryl asked, mostly joking.

“I would never take another man’s wife.” Rick tried to sound calm.

Daryl nodded. “I know.” A pause. “Look, everyone including Negan knows I’m gay.  It’s never been an issue.  But if he found out I was dating Blake & Blake’s golden child, it would be. He, well, he doesn’t have great things to say about you.” Daryl supplied.

Rick ran his hands up and down his forehead. “Noone knows I’m Bi. It’s honestly not something I’ve thought a lot about over the years. Just that they all know about Andrea, and there’s been no one since.  I guess I’m kind of a private person, but I can get around that, and most people at work are open minded, or at least, they pretend to be. But if Philip and Scott Blake found out I was dating Negan’s protégé, well yes, that would be a problem.”

"Even though they couldn’t legally dismiss us, it’s more likely we’d be overlooked for advancement. One or both of them might start to suspect we’re colluding. You’re on partner track at Blake & Blake." Daryl half stated, half questioned.

Rick nodded. "Yep. Maybe two years to go." He paused. "Honestly, I wasn't expecting this, _us_ , to get to this stage." Rick admitted weakly. "I've never had a relationship with a guy before, if that's what this is."

Daryl stared at him evenly. "So, guys were, what? Booty calls?"

"I was going with Fuck buddies, and bear in mind, the last one before you, was over a decade ago, but yeah, that's right. Until now."

"And now?"

"Now, honestly? I seem to be a hell of a lot more invested than I thought I would be or could be.  I think about you way more than I'm comfortable admitting. I like being with you. I like fucking you, and I like talking to you. And, I miss you when I don't see you. It's completely unexpected. I spent the whole weekend worrying about you. Carl even picked up on it."

Daryl looked struck. "Wow, I."

Rick felt a sudden sinking feeling. "Ahhhh.” He stared into the far corner of the room, gathering himself.  “Have I been so obsessed with how I feel that I've overlooked that it was just a casual thing for you?" He felt nervous all of a sudden.

But Daryl's stare was intense. "No, that's not it at all.  Rick, I've never had a casual thing. I've only ever had long term relationships and I only ever sleep with people I think I can become invested in.  My concern all along has been that you didn't feel the same way."

They were silent for a while, before Daryl spoke. "You know, the first time I saw you was in court two years ago. You were arguing this bullshit felony case with all the confidence of someone who has already won, despite the fact it was completely un-win-able. I couldn't help staring at you and I almost missed a couple of fairly obvious objections. I must have looked like a complete idiot."

"Huh. Yeah, I argue them all like that I guess. I don't remember that case, but I remember you. Either from then or the next one. I was pretty focussed back then, more so than I am these days but I remember having a moment when I looked at you longer than necessary." Rick chuckled. "But for me, there was another time, probably about six months ago. I was a few metres behind you walking out of courtroom C down the main corridor past reception. You were with some colleagues, as was I. My co-council was talking to me, but I couldn't take my eyes off the back of you, and then a women you were walking past dropped her phone and you bent down to pick it up. Man, those slacks stretched so tightly across your arse. I was mesmerised for ages. Michonne was clicking her fingers in front of my eyes to get my attention." Rick finished laughing.

"Get lost, that did not happen." Daryl was laughing too.

"Hand on heart, it absolutely did." Rick claimed.

"Right, ahh." Daryl said after he recovered. "So I guess the elephant in the room."

Rick sighed and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Yes. The large career-killing elephant.  You're Assistant District Attorney for the northern District of Georgia."

"And you're a criminal attorney specialising in felony cases, which means that a number of times a year we can be found opposing each other in court."

"Which reminds me, we've been _extremely_ lucky not to have been in the same courtroom since.." Rick gestured to Daryl and he and the bed.

"...Since we've been fucking." Daryl finished and Rick nodded.

"Yes. But the real issue is that my boss stole your boss’s wife. Negan and Philip hate each other and anyone who works for them.  And as it turns out, you’re Negan’s right hand man and I’m Blake & Blakes’ rising star. If they knew about us, they would both be furious and it’s hard to see how it wouldn’t impact our career’s.”

"I've thought it over many a Wednesday night after you've left my place, and there's no way around it.  I love my job. I know my boss isn’t perfect, but the work I do is exactly what I always wanted to be doing, and I assume even if you don't love your job, you wouldn't willingly leave any time before making partner. That would be crazy."

"I guess I was kind of hoping you'd say you were sick of your job and were thinking about private practice." Rick said.

Daryl shook his head regretfully. "It just basically wouldn't be prudent to be see together, even if it was as friends. But to be seen together as anything else, well, it's really not going to work."

"I know, I reach the same conclusion each time I think about it too. But then the further problem is if we hide it and then get found out, it's going to look even worse."

Daryl nodded glumly. "I know."

They sat in silence for a while, until finally Rick spoke. "Obviously we need to make a decision to either stop seeing each other, or continue, but knowing the possible consequences."

More silence.

"I love my job Rick, I've worked really hard to get where I am." Rick's heart sank at those words. "And I know you have too." Daryl took a deep breath. "But I'm not sure I can give this up. I don't want to. Unless you do." He met Rick's eyes.

Rick held his gaze. Until now they had been sitting close but not touching, and Rick placed his hand on Daryl's leg. "No. I don't want to stop either." He leaned in and kissed him. It was soft and tender and meaningful, and it was followed by another and another until were laying down embracing and kissing. Eventually Rick drew away. "I didn't mean to interrupt our conversation, especially as it's taken months to get it started."

Daryl coughed to clear his throat. "Ok. So, in summary, we're going to continue to fuck each other in my apartment, watch Game of Thrones together and not tell anyone about it, and we'll never discuss work with each other."

"Yeah, well you know, we could mix it up occasionally. You could come to my apartment for a change." Rick said weakly. "It's not a long-term solution, but it's the only answer we have right now, unless we decide to call it quits."

That didn't seem to be an option for either man, and Rick personally had to admit there was a certain thrill and excitement about the clandestine nature of their relationship.  Also, he wasn't the kind of person who loved eating at popular restaurants or going to the market or shopping or other activities where people might see them together. However, he realised it could be a little weird and inconvenient not to be able to see each other outside of their apartments. And not discussing work was already difficult.

"S'ok man, it's not your responsibility to come up with a solution, and I reached the conclusion a while ago that I don't want to stop seeing you." He leaned in and kissed Rick, a kiss that was readily returned. They were still wearing only boxers, and Rick felt himself get hard. "I also reached the conclusion a while ago that I didn't want to stop sucking your cock." Daryl said, reaching for said member to rub it through the fabric.

"Oooohhhh." Was all Rick managed to moan. Before, during and after Daryl wrapped his lips around him and sucked him in and out.  And it was also all Daryl managed to say after Rick returned the favour five minutes later.

“G’nite." Rick whispered contentedly as they drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one.. I'll try to update soon.
> 
> I borrow a tiny amount of dialogue in Rick & Shane's conversation in this chapter, from Rick & Daryl's "You're my brother" scene back in S04 E16. Just one or two lines and with minor adjustments..

After they woke at Daryl's place on Monday morning, Daryl used his 'it's my turn to come to your place for a change," card and visited Rick in his apartment for the first time, and stayed over, on Tuesday night. Then Rick went to Daryl's on the Wednesday night again, and that was the last time either of them bothered to go to the other's place without bringing a change of clothes for the next day. It had become too hard to leave at night.

They began a routine of seeing each other almost every night over the next weeks, except when Rick had Carl.

And except for this Friday night because Rick was due to see Shane the next morning so he had arranged instead for Daryl to come over to his place on the Saturday evening. He wasn't quite sure why, but he knew he wanted a clear head before meeting with Shane, and he didn't to be clouded with thoughts of Daryl Dixon like he generally was these days. Not to say that was a bad thing.

He was semi-successful in his attempt, but admittedly, his mind just kept _drifting_ to the other man. Still, he managed to have a good think about what he wanted to get out of his meeting with Shane, and when he rang the bell at the Walsh household late on Saturday morning, he was definitely focussed on the present.

Shane answered the door. "Rick. Thanks for coming br.... man." He said, obviously nervous, before stepping back and looking carefully into his old friend’s eyes.  He looked like he wanted to clap Rick on the back like in old days but was restraining himself.

"Shane." Rick nodded, also meeting his eyes.

"Come in." Shane ushered Rick inside and closed the door. He led him down the hallway to a room off to the left that was obviously a study.

Rick looked around. The house was huge, but he had already known that from dropping off Carl.

"You look good Rick, real good." Shane said once again appraising his former best friend.

"Thanks man. So do you.  Look, it's. I'm....." He paused to run his hands through his hair and try to gain some composure as he glanced around the room. "Ahhh, this is about a decade late, but I'm sorry for w..."

"No, please Rick. Do not stand there and apologise. What you did, anybody would have done that. I deserved it."

“No, not that. Something happened. I put you in hospital man, broke your nose, your arm. It was insane, I was crazy and I'm just lucky you didn't press charges like you should have, and I ....."

Shane interrupted. "I'm dying." He said dully.

Rick was taken aback. "What?" He was silent.

"Cancer." He said quietly.

"But you don't look sick. You look great."

"It's early. I was only diagnosed recently. I've had some treatments but...." His expression was blank. "It's the same as Dad.."

Rick felt a pang of fear at the words. "Pancreatic cancer." He knew what it meant. They had both been there to see it take Shane's father. The screams at the end still haunted his dreams and he was sure it was the same for Shane. He moved to the couch and sat down, staring up at Shane.

Shane could read his mind. "The doctors say it's different now.  The drugs, the science is better. They can keep me alive longer, and in.... more comfort." He said the last two words almost ironically.

Rick had been sure he would manage this meeting with a minimum of emotion, but he hadn't been expecting this. He took a deep breath but it hitched as he exhaled, and then he lost it. So many emotions crashed into him and he started to cry.  The sadness, the pain, the hate, the love. The damn unchangeable-ness of it all. How had it all gone like this and why had he let it?

Rick sighed out another part-breath part-sob and ran his hands down over his face to look over at Shane whose gaze was averted, eyes shining.

When he could speak. "How long?"

"It's fairly fast moving, even though I only experienced symptoms a few months ago.  Six months, maybe a year max.  Rick, I wanted to see you before I knew for sure about this. Maybe I had my suspicions, but I wanted to talk to you for a while now.  And then when this happened, I knew I had to tell you man. I _had_ to. I wanted to tell you _now_ and not right at the end. God Rick, I don't know what I want, other than more time. I want everything to be right, I want to go back and fix it all somehow. Change it. Re-do the past decade.  I have a great life and feel blessed to have Lori and Judith and Carl in my life.  And I love Judith so much. So damn much Rick. I love being her father. I would not change that, but the guilt I feel and the cost to all of us for that, sometimes I wonder, if she hadn't been mine, then we could have all gotten through it somehow. I think I just always thought we would be friends again, that there would be time."

Shane looked so broken now and Rick could barely meet his eyes.

"It's a lot to process." Shane said after a long silence.

Rick nodded. "It is."

"I should have done this a year ago. Five years ago."

"No, I should have done it." Rick replied. "It's on me too."

"Look there's more I want to say, and something I want to ask you, but maybe. I mean, this is a lot to take in. If you wanted to, maybe we could talk again soon?" Shane asked uncertainly.

"Yeah. Yes. Ok."

They rose and walked to the front door. Shane reached out his hand to shake Rick's, and Rick shook it, but also reached his other hand around Shane's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"I'll talk to you soon." Rick said.

Rick jumped in his car and managed to stay composed enough to drive the twenty minutes to his apartment and park his car in his underground parking spot before losing it again in the car and crying long jagged sobs, his head in his hands. Once he had exhausted himself crying, he sat back in the car seat staring at nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

It was almost an hour before Rick made it from the car up to his apartment where, with robotic precision he threw his keys in the bowl on the counter, grabbed a beer from the fridge, opened and downed it immediately, then grabbed another and took it to sit on his balcony. As soon as that beer was finished, he went back to the fridge, grabbed a whole six-pack of beer and brought that outside with him.  He wasn't sure how long he sat there, staring unfocussed at the city-scape before him but it was hours and more than the six-pack later when the doorbell rang.

Daryl! He had managed to forget the other man was coming over.

He stumbled to the door and opened it. The grin that lit up Daryl's face so beautifully when he saw Rick disappeared quickly when he saw the expression on the other man's face.

"Are you ok, man?" Daryl asked uncertainly.

Rick shook his head.

"What is it?" He wondered tentatively. "Do you, ahhh, are you sick?"

Rick shook his head again and tried to but missed closing the door behind Daryl, so Daryl pushed it closed and turned the lock.  He didn't say anything, just followed his friend who stumbled to the kitchen and pulled two beers from the fridge, opened them, handed one to Daryl and lead the way to the balcony.

They sat down, Rick staring straight ahead, Daryl staring at Rick after noticing the empty bottles.

"I had some bad news today." Rick finally supplied. "About, ahhh, an old friend."

"I'm sorry to hear that man."

"I'm really sorry you have to see me like this. Again." Rick muttered. "Maybe it would be best if you come over another time. I haven't even made dinner or cleaned up or anything."

"It's ok. I could give a shit about how your place looks, and if you haven't eaten, how about I call for a pizza? If you're gonna get wasted, you should at least have some food in your belly."

Rick nodded absently and Daryl pulled out his phone and ordered a pizza.  Then he drained his own beer and retrieved two more from the kitchen.

Daryl wasn't the kind of person to judge. If Rick was hurting and wanted to manage the pain this way, then he would let him.  But damn if he wasn't going to stay around to make sure he was ok. Rick took the beer gratefully.

"Nice view from here." Daryl commented to try to distract him. "Can see a lot of the city. I could definitely do with a balcony."

Rick smiled. "Yeah." He looked sad again.

"Do you ever get out of the city? Go camping or just get away for the weekend?" Daryl asked.

"I used to. Haven't really done it for the past few years though I guess." Rick admitted.

"We should go some time." Daryl tried to sound upbeat but faltered when he saw that Rick was not really paying attention.

Instead, he decided just to sit and be there. When Rick made to get up, he helped him to the kitchen, and when Rick couldn't open the beer, he opened it for him.

When the pizza arrived, Daryl pulled on an old baseball cap that was hanging on the wall near the door, kept his eyes down as he paid the kid.

He brought the pizza out to the balcony and handed Rick a slice and watched him eat it. Something was better than nothing.

And they sat mostly in silence until eventually Rick started to doze in his seat.

"C'mon." Daryl said, tugging at his arms. "Time for bed." He pulled Rick to standing and helped him down the hall.

"Toilet?" Daryl asked, and just led him to the bathroom when there was no answer. He was thankful the other man managed to undo his zip and urinate without him having to help. It seemed a bit personal, even though he could really care less if he had to.

Rick fell into bed and Daryl decided sleeping in his clothes wouldn’t hurt him.  He went out and cleaned up the pizza and beer cans, putting the leftover food in the fridge. He locked the balcony and then came back to the bedroom where he stripped down to boxers and got into bed.

The next morning Rick somehow woke early. He had a pounding headache and his eyesight was a bit fuzzy, but all in all he didn't feel too bad. He felt calm actually, even though the conversation with Shane came back to him. He was definitely glad Daryl was here in bed with him. He was glad the man had stayed, despite the fact he had barely spoken to him last night.

Rick rose quietly, took some Advil and had a shower. His thoughts jumped around, scattered in his head, but he knew he wanted to tell Daryl some things. But where to stop? And how to begin?

Rick returned to the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Daryl stirred as he came in and watched through slitted eyes as Rick pulled on boxer shorts and sat down on the bed.

"Hey." He said sleepily. "How are you feeling today?"

"Ok actually, even though I really shouldn't." Rick replied.

Daryl sat up. "I just wanted to stay to make sure you were ok. You did the same for me.  But it's ok, you don't have to talk about it. I'll leave and give you some space."

Rick shook his head. "No, I don't want space. And I do want to talk. That is, if you have time."

Daryl nodded. "Sure."

"Come out and I'll heat up some left over pizza for breakfast." Rick suggested with an ironic grin.


	11. Chapter 11

When Daryl was eating, Rick took a deep breath.

"This is hard for me because I don't usually talk about things from my past." He started, pinching the bridge of his nose momentarily. "You know I have a fourteen year old son. You don't know, but may have assumed that I was married to Lori, his Mother. We married relatively young. We met in college and were married at twenty two. Carl was born two years later." Rick paused as Daryl nodded, mouth full of pizza.

"You also know I was in a coma. That was when Carl was one. I was in the coma for three months. They honestly thought I wasn't going to wake up. Lori and Shane, my partner on the force, they had an affair I guess you could call it, even though it wasn't exactly a straight-forward cheating partner kind of scenario because the doctors all told them it was unlikely I would wake. But then I did, which kind of ruined everything."

Daryl was holding his breath.

"I didn't know it had happened. Lori and I were together again after I woke and then she found out she was pregnant. When she... When Judith was born, I could tell she wasn't mine.  Don't get me wrong, I loved that little baby, god so much, but when I looked at her, it was like looking at Shane's baby photo. Clear as day. Lori knew I could see it.  She had been so jumpy and nervous around me, but I had chalked it up to having been sick for so long. When Judith was born I realised it was because Lori suspected she was Shane's."

"I lost it. I went to see Shane with, I don’t know, the intention of confronting him. But as soon as he opened the door, I just started hitting him and couldn’t stop. I beat him up so badly he ended up in hospital. I don’t even remember it properly - it was like I wasn't even there, I just kept belting into him. If his neighbour hadn't come in, I don't know what would have happened." Rick said honestly.

Daryl could see fear and disgust in Rick's eyes.

"He didn't, he didn't even try to defend himself. He just kept saying he was sorry. Eventually I just left. I went to a bar and got wasted. Then I left and bought myself some whiskey and drank until I blacked out. I stayed drunk for a week, homeless, sleeping on the street. When I managed to get sober I went home assuming I would be arrested. But Shane never pressed charges and he convinced Lori and his neighbour not to either."

"I couldn't be near them. I couldn't stay with Lori. When it boiled down to it, I could understand the affair. They thought I was dead. They were both distraught, they needed each other. But the deception afterwards, for nine months. And the joy at having another baby, having something good happen finally, only to realise she wasn't mine.  I couldn't handle that. Lori said she loved both of us, so it was my choice, but I didn't really feel I had a choice. I left."

"Jesus Rick, I can see why you don't just go around telling everyone.

Rick nodded. "Shane and I were friends from before the force. Before college. We met in high school and were basically inseparable." Rick's eyes flickered to Daryl. "But only as friends, never any more." He emphasised, not that it mattered, but somehow it mattered to him that Daryl know that. "He and his family helped me through some tough times. His Dad in particular, really looked out for me, helped me a lot."

Rick took a deep breath. "The year we graduated high school, his father became sick. Pancreatic cancer. Very aggressive. Shane and I helped his mother look after his father for the last year of his life. We were with him through all the pain, and we were there when he passed." Rick sighed and closed his eyes briefly.

"Shane is still on the force. He's a Lieutenant now.  I hadn’t spoken to him for a decade until yesterday." He met Daryl's eyes. "He has the same cancer his father had. He's dying."

Daryl had put down his pizza and reached across for Rick's hand. "That's tough man. Really tough."

Rick looked at him gratefully. "I feel like I wasted the past decade.  I haven't spoken to Shane. In all that time I've barely looked at him. I've only been able to be civil to Lori for the past few years. I see Carl, I avoid seeing Judith even though she's Carl's half-sister. I cocked it all up and thought it was all someone else's fault. But it's me who's caused it to go on for so long. Shane said yesterday that he always thought there would be more time. And so did I. Without realising it until now, I just always thought there would be more time." Rick was close to tears again.  "I'm so sorry. It's weird you have to see me like this. And last night, the drinking again. I guess I have a problem with alcohol."

"How often do you drink like that?" Daryl asked gently.

"A few times a year. Maybe ten times, I guess.  I mean, last night was the first time I've had more than two beers in a night, since, well, that night at the bar. I can go weeks without having a drink at all, but at some stage I always go back to it. And it's not just college kid binge drinking, it's deeper than that. I usually need to black-out to stop. There is always a trigger, usually work.  Sometimes life. I'm basically a highly functioning alcoholic." Rick stated dully.  "With a lot of baggage." He added.

"There's more to tell, ahh, from my childhood, but that I've never spoken to anyone about other than the people who were around at that time, and even then only the basics. Shane is probably the only one who knows the full story. Not even Lori, although he may have told her at some stage." He said grimly. "But I don't think I'm up to explaining it all right now." And honestly, Rick didn't look up to it at all.  He looked almost broken. "I'll totally understand if you want to end this. Most of the time I go through life thinking I have it all together, but something like this happens and I realise I really don't."

"Rick, I'm not easily spooked. You'd have to do more than that if you want to get rid of me. It's not like I don't have baggage. Shit from my past. Shit from my present, when it comes to my brother. God, with my fucking upbringing, it's amazing I'm still alive, and not a junkie, let alone that I went to university and hold down what society considers a reasonable job. And, I have a lot of experience with alcoholics.  I'm not saying it's good to drink like you do Rick, it definitely isn't.  But also don't beat yourself up too badly. You seem to have it reasonably under control. The only thing is." Daryl hesitated. "Do you become aggressive when you drink?”

Rick shook his head emphatically. "No, not at all. It's almost the opposite. Drinking calms me down, makes me more mellow if anything." He paused. "But I can be violent. The Shane thing was not the only time.  It's just I've been stone cold sober when I have." Rick frowned.

Daryl sighed. "What it means is that you don't just lose it for no reason though. That's what I remember being really scary. One second everything would be fine, we could be happy, joking around and then for no reason at all, like a switch had flicked in his brain, he'd be beating me about the head." Daryl recalled.

Rick was confused. "Your Brother?"

"No, my Dad. Mum wasn't much better, but she never hit me, it was more verbal abuse when she was drinking."

"The scars on your back." Rick asked.

"Yeah, from my Dad. From his belt, his bottles, his whatever he could find at the time."

Rick winced. "How long... did...."

"Years. I don't know for sure. And he did it to Merle first. When he died it was like I was saved. It was like I got to live for the first time. Old man has a heart attack, and I pretty much felt like I'd won the lottery."

"We're a pair." Rick met his eyes.

"Pretty fucking depressing." Daryl, agreed.

Somehow they both smiled and started to laugh.

"You have plans today?" Rick asked suddenly, realising he really didn't want Daryl to leave.

"Nah. I want to get to the gym at some point, but other than that, if I wasn't here I'd be buried in case work, either at the office or at home." He admitted. "But I do actually have an idea, if you have time this afternoon? And if you're game."

"Sure I'm game. Are you going to share your idea?" Rick asked.

"Nope. Here's the plan." Daryl looked at his watch. "You have four hours. I'm going home and to the gym, then I'm going to meet you on the corner of your street, in front of the park entrance, at 1pm."

"Ahhh, ok." Rick grinned. "Sounds like you've given this some thought."

"Nope. Just came up with it right now.  And I hope I can pull it off." He said, only slightly nervously. He reached over and gave Rick a hug and kiss. "Also, wear boots, and those dark jeans."

Rick raised his eyebrows. "Shouldn't be too hard. But what about the whole, not being seen together thing."

"I think I have it covered. Trust me." Daryl winked.

He walked Daryl to the door and watched him walk down the hallway. He pottered around the apartment for a while at loose ends, before deciding to go for a run. When he returned, he showered and dressed in his tight jeans and boots, and a dark shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Then he still had over an hour and a half to kill, so sat down and did some work.


	12. Chapter 12

When it was ten minutes to 1pm, Rick packed away his work and headed down to the park on the corner. He stood there for a while, nervously wondering how he and Daryl were going to walk around the park together without worrying about being seen. He checked his watch at ten after one and at fifteen after and started to worry that Daryl was ok. Shortly after, a motorbike rounded the corner, the rider's frame catching Rick's eye, and he started to grin.

Daryl pulled up next to him and cut the engine, but left his helmet on.

"Sorry I'm late. This is Merle's old bike and the battery was flat and she needed some other tinkering to get her going."

Rick’s grin had broken to a wide smile. The bike was a big old Harley with plenty of room for two grown men. Daryl unstrapped the spare helmet from where it was attached to the luggage rack and handed it over to Rick, along with an old leather jacket.

"Sorry the jacket isn't in better condition. Figured Merle's one would fit you better than mine, but it is a bit aged."

Rick shrugged it on. "I don't mind." He pulled the helmet on and fumbled fastening the chin strap before Daryl reached over and did it.

Rick threw a leg over the bike and settled into the seat. There were hand grips slightly under the seat so he held onto those.

"You can hold the hand grips, or hold onto me." Daryl said over the sound of the engine roaring to life.

"Ok." Rick continued to hold the seat handles.

Daryl manoeuvred the bike around and they roared down the street. It took about ten minutes to get out of the worst of the city traffic, and another ten minutes to hit the highway proper.

"You ok?" Daryl shouted.

"Yeah, it's great." Rick replied.  It wasn't the first time he'd been on a motorbike, but it was the first time in about fifteen years. He felt slightly strange riding pillion, but on the other hand, the bike was huge, and it was Daryl driving, and he realised he always felt comfortable with Daryl. He carefully changed from holding the grips, to wrapping his arms around the muscular body in front.

It felt great, he liked being tight up against him. It was just a few minutes however, until he felt his cock try to twinge in the confines of his jeans, and thought maybe that wasn't the best idea, so he returned to holding the grips.

It was hard to hear anything above the roar of the bike’s engine, so they rode mostly in silence for about an hour before turning down a dirt road into a forest, slowing down and parking in a small circular car park.

Daryl killed the engine and kicked the stand down. Rick jumped off and removed his helmet. There were no other cars in the lot.

Daryl removed his helmet too and locked both of them to the bike with a small chain.

"This is brilliant." Rick exclaimed. "I didn't even know you had a bike."

"Thanks, I'm feeling a bit dumb for not thinking of it sooner." Daryl admitted, and Rick just shook his head.

"No, this is perfect.” He looked around. “I've never been here before."

"Wait until you see the lookout." Daryl replied, indicating a sign towards a lookout that was 2.2 miles walk. "You up for it?"

Rick nodded, ignoring that his legs were tired after his run. They walked at a moderate pace, the track quite narrow at points, Daryl ushering Rick ahead. Eventually they emerged onto a boardwalk, and then steps and a platform with a fence, looking out across a large gorge.

It was a cool sunny day, and after the walk, Rick was warm so he removed his jacket, and Daryl did the same.

"Haven't been here for a while. Came here with Merle once years ago, always thought it was beautiful."

"It is beautiful." Rick said with a big smile on his face, looking at Daryl in his loose jeans and tight T-shirt, the sunlight turning the ends of his hair golden. Rick reached out and pulled the man’s head closer to his, kissing him with an open mouth, a kiss Daryl responded to greedily, drawing Rick to him, arms wrapped around him.

"It's nice seeing you, ummm, outside." Rick said finally when they parted. "So, I get that the boots were a requirement for the bike, but why these particular jeans?"

"Ahh, yeah, that was just because I like looking at your arse in those tight jeans." Daryl quipped good naturedly, almost making Rick blush as he continued to gaze at the other man.

They admired the view standing shoulder to shoulder for a while before heading back down the path and jumping back on the bike. Halfway through the ride home Rick changed position again, edging his body closer to Daryl, wrapping his hands around his torso and pressing his groin as close as possible.

He was beyond turned-on by the time they rode into the city limits.

"My place?" Daryl shouted.

"Yes." Rick replied quickly, trying not to actively grind against the man while he was concentrating on manoeuvring the bike.

Finally, they rode into Daryl's building's car park and wound down to the lower parking level. Daryl indicated Rick should jump off, so he did whilst Daryl parked the bike.

Once the bike was situated to his satisfaction, Daryl stepped off it, removed his helmet and turned around.  He was met with the sight of Rick leaning back against the wall near the lift, one knee bent, foot resting back against the wall. His curls were wild and his face was beautifully flushed from the ride, lips impossibly plumper and pinker than usual, and his expression a combination of lust and desire and hunger. All of it fixated on the bike rider.

Daryl walked to him and pushed up against him and kissed him deeply. Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl as Daryl hoisted him up, Rick's long legs wrapping around the other man, back pressed hard against the wall. They kissed passionately and may not have stopped but for the sound of a car entering the car park. Daryl let Rick’s legs down and pressed the lift call button. When the lift arrived they parted and looked reasonably presentable, if flushed. Not that it mattered as no one was around. They behaved for the lift ride to Daryl's apartment, but when they were inside and the door closed, Rick attacked him, pushing him against the wall.

"I don't think I've ever been as turned on as I am right now, Daryl. I'm so fucking wired I think I'll come the minute you touch me." He growled into Daryl's ear before kissing him and trying to remove all of their clothes at once.

"Rick, just wait a sec. Slow down." Daryl almost laughed as Rick blindly tried to undo buttons and failed. He led Rick to the bedroom and indicated for him to hold still, and he proceeded to undress the other man slowly and deliberately before undressing himself. He then shoved a pile of clothes off a chair that lived in the corner of the room, brought it over to where they were standing and pushed Rick to sit down.

"Stay." He instructed, as he moved to the bedside table to grab the lube and condoms. He then placed a foot up on Rick's knee and proceeded to make a show of preparing himself. Rick's eyes were so heavy with lust they could barely focus. He stared at Daryl's fingers and absently stroked his own leaking cock.

When Daryl was ready, he opened the condom and rolled it onto Rick, then he turned around and proceeded to sit down on Rick's lap.  Once Rick realised what Daryl was doing, he used one hand to guide his cock inside Daryl, and he also helped support the man with his other hand on his hip.

Daryl lowered himself slowly until Rick's cock was all the way inside, and he was sitting flush in the other man's lap. "Thought this might be kinda like being on the bike?" Daryl offered in a husky voice.

"God, yes." Rick moaned, pulling Daryl's head back onto his shoulder so he could suck on his neck. Then he straightened him up and used both hands to help Daryl lift up, and down. Rick lasted approximately four seconds before shooting his load, moaning long and loud.

Then he helped Daryl stand, stood up and pushed Daryl down onto the bed on his back. He pounced, crawling up in between the man's legs and taking his cock into his mouth. The ministrations caused Daryl to grasp the bed sheets and moan, and he came into Rick's mouth seconds later.

Spent, Rick crawled into bed and they lay next to each other. Rick was slightly embarrassed as he coughed to clear his throat. "I, um, apparently sitting behind you on your bike, _does things_ to me." He admitted.

"So, you enjoyed the ride?" Daryl asked cheekily.

"Enjoyed it? It was fucking inspiring!"

Daryl reached a hand over and played with the hair on Rick's chest. When he spoke, it was almost timid. "You looked amazing today. It was such a novelty being outside with you, I loved it, you looked so happy, and those jeans." He chuckled. "And the look on your face, after the ride, your hair all messed up. God, you are so fucking gorgeous."

Rick's eyes widened. No one had ever said that to him before, and no one had ever looked at him the way Daryl did when he said it. He wanted to say it back, because Daryl really was fucking gorgeous. But staring into his eyes he realised he also felt something else for the man. Something way beyond the lust he felt earlier. He blinked, suddenly sure it was written all over his face. To cover it up, he leaned over and kissed slowly up Daryl's neck to his lips.

"It was very clever of you to think of the motorbike and getting out of town. I hope we can do it again." Rick murmured between kisses.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays in getting chapters up. I was away for a bit, then I was a bit sick.. Should be more regularly updated from here!!

It was a week later when their lucky streak at work ran out.

First thing Monday morning Scott, Philip’s equally insipid younger brother and Rick’s direct boss, called him into a meeting to tell him he was being removed from all existing cases in order to take the lead on a new priority case with Michonne and Glenn.

Rick stared vacantly as Scott rambled on about how important this case was to Blake & Blake and how they didn’t want to lose to that “arsehole District Attorney”.  He used the well-worn: ‘ _you are to spend every waking moment on research and preparation for the case. No exceptions.. no going home to spend time with family or friends until we’ve won_ ’ speech, that honestly didn’t used to bug Rick like it did this time.

Scott liked the sound of his own voice as much as his brother did (as much as Negan did, Rick decided) and it was grating on his nerves so he excused himself as soon as possible and went to find Michonne so she could debrief him.

After lunch, as he walked into the courtroom, the first thing he noticed was Daryl Dixon sitting at the prosecution desk with a colleague.

Rick sat in his seat and looked over at Daryl who was looking at him. They nodded to each other and Rick was struck by the kind, honest expression on the other man's face. He knew in that moment that although this might be awkward, it was going to be ok.

They got through the day easily enough, but that afternoon as Rick turned off his laptop to head home, he realised home wasn't where he wanted to go. He looked at his watch, it was 7:30. Daryl might be home already.

He wasn't, but Rick only waited fifteen minutes before the man appeared in the hallway. He had obviously been to the gym, he was wearing a sweaty old T-shirt and grey track pants.

"Hey." He muttered, tight grin on his face, always so much less articulate outside the necessity of work.

"Hi." Rick flashed a brilliant smile.

Daryl opened the door and ushered Rick inside. Once inside Rick moved out of the way as Daryl pottered around nervously, putting keys away, his gym bag.

"Gonna take a shower." He mumbled.

"Sure. No problem." Rick answered, sitting down on the couch, confused as to why Daryl looked so annoyed.

Daryl emerged ten minutes later, hair towel dried, wearing a clean T-Shirt and shorts.

"You want anything?" He asked, uncharacteristically grabbing a beer and holding it up for Rick.

"No thanks, I'm good." Rick replied. He turned the TV volume down as Daryl walked over and sat down. He looked nervous and kind of annoyed.

"So." Daryl said.

"So." Rick replied.

There was silence.

"So, why don't you just get it over with?" Daryl asked, just short of angry.

"Get what over with?" Asked Rick, now very confused.

"What you're here for." Daryl replied, not meeting Rick's eyes.

"Ahhh, I'm here to see you." Rick answered honestly.

"Yeah, to end it with me." Daryl said pointedly.

"What?" Rick said, jolting upright.

"Just saw you last night. You never come on a Monday. And today was the first case together since.... " He gestured between them. "You decided it's time to end it." He stated matter-of-factly, mouth drawn into a tight line, gaze someone near Rick’s feet.

"Hey." Rick placed a hand on Daryl's forearm. "You are so wrong, you have no idea man." Daryl still wouldn't meet his eyes. "Look." Rick reached his hand up and placed it on Daryl's face to twist it around to look at him. "I'm here because I wanted to see you. It was surreal to have you there in court and not be able to touch you. I'm here because I was going to go home, then I realised that where I really wanted to be was here with you." Rick hesitated. "I... missed you." _I love you_. He wasn't quite ready to say it yet, even though he realised he had felt it for a while.

Daryl's eyes were glassy, almost as though full of tears, but a small smile touched his face as Rick pulled him in for a kiss.

"Well, I'm a complete dick, aren't I." Daryl joked and took a long drag of beer.

"Just a bit."

"Yeah, well, you know, I kept wondering about it this afternoon, kept thinking you were going to find this too hard. Thought about it all though my sets at the gym, then when you were waiting here, which you've never done before, I thought for sure that was why."

"Well, no offence Daryl, but you're a fucking idiot." _And I love you_. Rick said with a big smile before kissing him again. But then his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute, were you thinking I thought that, because you were thinking that? Is it going to be too hard for you?" Rick asked, nervous suddenly.

"Now you're the fucking idiot, Grimes." He said, shaking his head.

"Daryl, I have actually been thinking about something."

"What?"

"Well." Rick was a little embarrassed, even though he shouldn't be. It was nothing to be ashamed of. "I was thinking about getting tested. You know, at the clinic. Not that I think I really need to, but I just thought it couldn't hurt. Reassurance." He paused before admitting, “I want to feel you properly if it’s ok with you.”

Daryl smiled shyly. "Sure, I'll get tested too. I'm sick of using condoms too."

They both smiled and sat in goofy silence for a while, hands entwined before Rick finally said. "I'm hungry, feel like pizza?"

"Nah, was going to cook tonight. That is, if you're game to try my cooking?"

"I'm not easily frightened, you're on."

They ate pretty decent stir fry, watched some TV and went to bed together, Rick cuddling up against Daryl's back.


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks after his talk with Shane, Rick went back to the Walsh house. This time it was a Friday night and he was having dinner with the whole family. This was at Lori's request, and whilst it felt a little strange at first, he thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  It was great seeing Carl and seeing him somewhere he obviously felt very comfortable.

He had always known his son had a good relationship with Shane, but it was nice to observe their interactions for the first time. And to see him with Judith.

And that was the biggest revelation. Judith.  At her age, Rick had expected her to be disinterested or shy at best, but she was very smart, quick, strangely inclusive for someone so young, and very much a wise-arse. She was so much like Shane it was disconcerting.

During dessert, she started teasing Rick for being a lawyer, reciting an astonishing number of lawyer jokes that had them all in stitches until one that was a big risque that Lori called it quits on.

When Rick commented on it afterwards to Shane when they were alone in the study, he nodded.

"Brother, that girl has all the best parts of Lori and I, without our hmmmm, more-annoying qualities." Shane said, he eyes shining with pride.  "She's a quick learner, funny, and almost too smart for her own good, but she's careful and precise too and, empathetic and because of that she doesn't piss people off quite as much as I did. As I do." He corrected himself.

"She seems like a really great kid." Rick agreed. "And it's nice to see her and Carl together."

"Oh yeah, they can fight like cats and dogs, drives us completely crazy.  But when it comes down to it, they love each other to bits, and are very protective of each other."

Rick nodded, not at all surprised.

"Rick, Judith is part of what I want to talk to you about." He paused. "I want to know she will have a male role model to look up to, and who will look out for her over the years, especially while she's growing up. It's the most difficult part of all of this. More difficult than not seeing them grow up, is the thought of who will look after them when I'm not around."

Rick tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat.

"Man, I want to know you’ll be around for Judith. It will mean so much to me. Everything. It will mean everything to me. I know you'll be there for Carl obviously, but I need you to be there for Judith too." Shane's eyes were shining as they pleaded with Rick. "I need Judith to have a father. Someone I can trust, one that I know can love her as much as I do."

Rick was nodding and crying as Shane spoke, and he reached out to hug him, and they cried together.

When they stopped sobbing, and when Rick could speak. "Of course brother, it honestly hardly seems like you are asking anything of me.  I'm honoured to do that. But man, you know, eventually Lori is probably going to meet someone else."

"I know, I hope she does, but Judith is thirteen soon, and realistically how quickly will Lori move on...?" Then he stopped and his eyes widened and his mouth formed an ‘O’ as Rick started to grin.  "Shit man, I am so sorry."

"Don't mention it." Rick said through gritted teeth. "No, seriously, don't mention it."

They both chuckled and it was a little awkward but mostly it felt like old times.

"How are you feeling?" Rick asked when they stopped laughing.

"Aaahh, look, ok, you know. I have occasional pain, but so far mostly a-symptomatic." He replied seriously. "We, Lori and I are trying to decide when to tell Carl and Judith.  We just want a bit more time to be normal, whatever that is."

Rick nodded. "Completely understandable."

There was a pause before Shane changed the subject. "So I've been meaning to ask, are you seeing anyone?"

Rick looked at him, uncertain how to proceed because there was something strangely truth-inducing about a terminal illness.

"Yeah, I am actually." He hedged.

"Really? I remember when Carl told us about Andrea Harrison - she is a very good looking woman, by the way, good on you. Who is it now?" He wondered.

"Aaah, well, we're keeping it kind of low-key at the moment." Rick responded.

"Really? Why, is she married or something?" Shane asked, but obviously saw something flicker in Rick's eyes. "Or, is _he_ married?" He asked triumphant as Rick started to blush. "Wow, way to go brother. I wondered if you still, well....ahhhh…." He finished, unsure of how to proceed.

Rick took pity on him. "I haven't had a thing with a guy for a really long time, but this is... well, it's different. And he's _not_ married."

"I'm happy for you man. I hope I get to meet him." It was an off-hand comment and Shane didn't seem to attach any significance to it, but it gave Rick pause.


	15. Chapter 15

The next week, Rick was in a seriously bad mood. He hadn't seen Daryl for three days, other than in court which hardly counted, or in fact, was worse than not seeing him at all. Well, almost, at least he got to stare at his arse. No, it was definitely worse.

There was only so much staring he could handle. And they had both been pulling all-nighters with their respective council, working so hard they couldn't see each other. By Thursday night Rick had had enough. At 8pm he snapped his laptop shut and announced to the team of people he was sitting with in the boardroom that he was going home for the night, and they should do the same.

Unfortunately Scott Blake was one of the people in the room and an ironic smile ghosted across his face as he launched into a speech about the importance of the case to the firm and that anyone else who didn’t really care about the case, the firm, or indeed, about being a lawyer at all should by all means stand up and join Rick in leaving ‘early’.

Rick chose to ignore this and made himself walk out before he said something stupid and career-ending to Scott.  Instead of going to his place walked down the street to the nearest pay-phone and called Daryl.

"Hello?"

"Hi, you at work?"

"Yep."

"I've just left. Had enough. Meet you at yours in twenty?"

"Sure."

They hung up and Rick made his way to Daryl's apartment.

"I fucking missed you." He said, when they were safely behind closed doors and Daryl was not too carefully undoing Rick's tie and then unbuttoning his shirt."

"Me too." Daryl grunted as Rick undid Daryl's belt.

They made it to the bed and divested each other of clothes, then found themselves content to roll around kissing and touching until first Rick, then Daryl came.

After they showered - separately due to the size of the shower, and Rick had appropriated a pair of Daryl's boxers, they lay touching in bed.

"I was in such a bad mood today." Rick started.

"Yeah, I thought that when I saw you in court."

"Everyone at work is pissing me off - Scott especially - but even people I like, like Michonne, are annoying. And the case is definitely annoying. And don't get me started on Judge Horvath. Fuck. And I can't even talk to you about it, I shouldn't even say this much."

"Yeah, I know."

"It's hard seeing you in court, and not seeing you outside of court."

"I'm not enjoying it either." Daryl replied.

"This fucking case has weeks to go, and then it'll get replaced with something else and we could be back in the same situation." Rick stopped and rubbed his hands down his face. "And you know what, I know I can do it. It's annoying and it has pissed me off this week, but I know I _can_ do it. I’m just starting to wonder why I _want_ to anymore." He finished.

A number of emotions passed across Daryl's face. "This you breaking up with me again?" He said gently, and only a little bit seriously.

"What do you mean again?" Rick laughed. "And no. Not at all." He sighed. "It's actually also kind of about Shane."

Daryl raised his eyebrows.

"He asked me the other day if I was seeing anyone, and I realised I wanted to tell him about you. I wanted to tell him why I liked you so much, and I wanted him to meet you and like you too and for you to like him."

Daryl nodded.

"Also, Shane is going to get really sick, and want to be able to spend some time with him, and help Lori look after him. She'll need someone and I could help."

"You want to do that?"

Rick nodded firmly. "Yeah, I do. I guess I've been questioning my priorities. I don't want to hide us anymore, and I want to have more time to spend with my family and friends.. Jeez, more time with Carl. I know I previously said I wouldn't leave my job, but lately, more and more I’m wondering why not. Oh, also, in addition to all that, Shane asked if I'd look out for Judith when he's gone."

"Wow." Daryl looked serious.

"Yeah, I know right, all a bit heavy for a week night, sorry man."

"Nah, don't apologise." Daryl leaned over and embraced him and they kissed gently. "I think I understand a little of how you feel, and I'm not sure how to help solve everything... But I do have one suggestion that is probably going to seem a bit random. I was wondering whether you’d like to take a break? I mean, a holiday?"

"Haha, yeah sure."

"No, seriously, a holiday." Daryl said. "I’ve been waiting to see you to tell you. I have a conference coming up in San Francisco next month and there’s a holiday here so courts will be closed and the trial will be on hold. Anyway, it's a bullshit conference, I was going to flat-out refuse to go before I remembered I have some friends out there, and that if the trial was on hold, you could get away too." Daryl finished, looking slightly triumphant.

"Wow." It was Rick's turn.

"It's a Wednesday through Friday thing. I thought you could come on the Thursday or Friday and we'd have the weekend there."

Rick was taken aback. On one hand he was preoccupied with, and sad about Shane, but on the other hand - when had he last had a holiday?

He nodded thoughtfully. "Sure. Let's do it".


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contents of this chapter are definitely a change of pace.. I honestly don't even know how it came about as it definitely wasn't in my original idea for this story. The idea just somehow happened along and I decided to go with it even though I realise it's uncharacteristic for our boys in the context of this fic.. In the context of most fics! Anyway, I hope you don't hate it.. I actually hope you'll like it but apologies in advance if it's just a little too much!!

Rick relaxed the minute the plane took off from Atlanta. He took a few deep breaths, ordered a beer from the attendant and searched for a movie to watch. When was the last time he did this? Well maybe he and Andrea has taken a short holiday to New York one time, and he occasionally traveled for work, but really, not that often.

Phillip and Scott had been unhappy to grant the one day of leave, but Rick held his ground. He had weeks of vacation time saved up, and it had been so much easier to deal with the Blake brothers since he realised he realised he didn't care as much about the job.

He chose Shawn of the Dead and settled down to watch it, and after that fell asleep for an hour or so. When he woke he watched a few comedy shows, and it wasn't long after that the flight landed in San Francisco.

Rick took at taxi to the Hyatt where Daryl was staying and picked up the key that was waiting for him at reception.

Rick let himself into the room. It was early afternoon so Daryl wasn't back yet.  He decided to be extravagant and ordered a club sandwich from room service, took a shower, ate and lay down for what was supposed to be a short nap.

He woke due to a small earthquake before realising it was Daryl's hand on his arms causing the shaking.

"Hey." He said groggily, reaching out to touch Daryl's face.

"Hey, how was your flight?" Daryl asked, slipping into bed and snuggling up to Rick.

"Fine. How was the conference?

"Boring."

"Maybe we can find something more interesting to do here." Rick suggested suggestively.

And they did.  After, they filled the large corner spa in the bathroom and relaxed in it together.

"So, do you feel like going out tonight?" Daryl asked, a twinkle in his eye, his fingers playing with Rick's left knee.

"Out? Like, what do you mean? I'm not someone who usually goes out to clubs or anything, but hey, if you want to.. When in San Fran, I guess."

"I spoke to my friend Aaron and he and his partner asked us out to dinner, but it will probably be dinner at a nightclub, knowing them."

"Sure, ok. Are we not worried about being recognised out here?"

"I think we would be very unlucky if it happened, but I can't promise anything."

Rick nodded. "I care less these days, as you know, but I wouldn't want to compromise your position."

"I'm ok with it." Daryl's hand continued to play with Rick's knee and rub down his calf to his ankle, and back again.

Eventually they stopped adding warm water and left the bath and got ready to meet Daryl's friends.

"I haven't met Aaron's partner Paul before, but they've been together for a few years now." Daryl offered when they were in the taxi.

"And you know Aaron from....?"

"From school, actually. You won't pick it when you meet him though, he dropped his Southern accent completely, unlike mine that I can’t budge."

"So, were you two an item at school?" Rick wondered.

"No. He had a steady boyfriend at school. Eric. They were inseparable back then but seemed to drift apart at college.  Also he’s not really my type, but full disclosure, there was a one-night thing with us a few years ago. Hopefully Paul knows about it, and it's only fair that you do. But it was just that one time."

"Ok." Rick felt a flash of jealousy but wasn't going to make a deal about it, why should he. "I'll try not to hit him too hard." He joked, and Daryl punched him in the shoulder.

"Umm, just one other thing."

"What?"

"Well, Aaron used to sometimes have this thing about, umm, people watching him get off." Daryl said the last words so quickly Rick had to pause and tease them out in his mind before he understood and could reply.

"He likes people to watch him jerk off?" His eyebrows were raised very high.

"Aahh, no, he likes. Well, he used to like, people watching him have sex." Daryl whispered it so the taxi driver wouldn't hear.

Rick's eyebrows went even higher. "Did you...?"

"God no. That didn't happen. But before that he used to ask me to watch him with Eric. I don't know if it's something he and Paul are into. I just wanted to warn you in case it comes up tonight. We will not be doing that." Daryl said firmly.

Five hours later, they were doing that. Rick found himself, eyes wide, pupils dilated, sitting thigh to thigh with Daryl on a small couch positioned less than a metre from Aaron and Paul’s (who called himself Jesus) bed as they watched the other two, currently topless, kneeling, kissing and touching each other.

Dinner had gone well. Aaron was genuinely nice, and it wasn't lost on Rick how attractive he was, or the long lingering hug he gave Daryl. Jesus was absolutely gorgeous too and had a very mellow way about him.  They really seemed to compliment each other perfectly. They chatted, ate, drank, chattered some more and drank some more, and it was late when Aaron leaned over and whispered something to Daryl.

"What?" Rick asked. Intrigued.

Daryl looked nervous and opened his mouth to explain, but Aaron took over.

"Rick, I was just asking Daryl if you and he would be interested in watching Jesus and I do it later at our place." He said it matter of factly, as he carded his fingers through Jesus’ long hair. As though he had just asked them back to watch a movie or have drinks.

Rick felt quite a buzz. It was the first time in a while he had gone out to drink and hadn't purposefully drunk himself into a stupor. Instead this time he had paced himself, eaten well, alternated alcoholic drinks with water and had been genuinely invested in remaining coherent and, well, just tipsy.

"Rick, this is not something we need to do.  It's been a nice night, we can just go home now and have our own fun." Daryl had leaned over to speak into Rick's ear, but he drew back to look at his boyfriend who had that slightly flushed look on his face, kind of like after the time he took him out on the motorbike. Daryl met his eyes. "Unless you really want to."

"I kind of do." Rick admitted. "As long as you do. Otherwise, I don't."

Daryl continued to hold his boyfriends gaze, before looking over to Aaron. "Ok. We're in." He turned to Jesus, planning to ask if he was fully on board with this too, but the huge grin plastered across his face answered the question.

They paid their bill and went out to hail a cab. Rick ended up in the back seat on one side of Aaron, who was in the middle. Aaron and Jesus made out the way home and Rick tried not to get any more turned on. He placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder in front of him, and Daryl's large hand covered his.

Aaron and Jesus continued kissing on the bed for a while before they removed any more clothing. Aaron obsessively played with Jesus’ long hair, alternately dropping it, and then running his hands back through and using it to gently but firmly twist his head to one side so he could kiss down his neck on the other.

Rick was sitting as close to Daryl as he could, without sitting in his lap, and they held hands and shared lazy kisses. During one of their longer kisses, Jesus’ clothing came off, because when Rick turned his attention back to the bed, Jesus was naked and laying on his back with Aaron hovering over him, kissing down his torso. Jesus’ erection was obvious from their vantage, and Rick hissed in a breath as Aaron kissed down, down, and then took the erection into his mouth. He moved up and down, sucking in and out, drawing needy gasps and moans from his hot boyfriend.

Rick was captivated and it took a while to realise Daryl had his hand in his lap, rubbing over the bulge in his pants.

Eventually Aaron released Jesus’ still hard cock from his mouth and stood up to remove his clothing. He glanced over briefly at Rick and Daryl and gave them a small smile as he stroked his own cock to complete hardness. Then he took some lubricant and applied it to his fingers and to Jesus’ hole, and started to finger him open. Jesus was moving his head from side to side, making obscene noises as Aaron progressed to three fingers, and then eventually his cock.

Aaron fucked Jesus’ hard and fast, Jesus all the while asking for more, until Aaron finally moaned loudly as he emptied his load into his boyfriend. He was still for a few seconds before withdrawing his dick and quickly bending down to lick his own come that was leaking out of Jesus.

Rick squirmed from Daryl touching him, and the sight of the other two men. Daryl leaned over whispered "Don't forget to breathe" in his ear, then gave him the most open mouthed kiss he could and Rick felt like he would come in his pants.

He thought the other two must be finished, but to his surprise, Aaron was now on his hands and knees and Jesus had at least two fingers in his arse. Aaron was moaning loudly and Jesus removed his fingers and lined up his still hard cock and pushed inside.

"Fuuuckk." Rick exhaled quietly so that only Daryl could hear, and Daryl leaned over again to suck on Rick's neck.

Jesus proceeded to fuck in and out of his boyfriend, as Daryl kissed Rick's neck and rubbed his cock through his jeans.

Rick came when Jesus did, with what he hoped were quiet gasps.

When Jesus withdrew from Aaron, Aaron rolled over and pulled his boyfriend down on top of him and they rolled around lazily kissing and touching.

Rick's eyes were so wide, his face so flushed and his skin so hot.

Daryl rose to standing and pulled Rick up behind him.

"Time to leave." He whispered to Rick.

Daryl walked over to the bed and gave Aaron, who was currently on top, a small slap on the buttocks. "Later Marquand, we're off."

"Okay Dixon. Nice to meet you Rick." Came the muffled reply.

“Thanks for coming.” Added Jesus, making eye contact with Rick and offering a cheeky smile.

Rick and Daryl hurried out of the room and out of the apartment. They didn't speak whilst waiting for a taxi, or during the twenty minute taxi ride to the hotel, although they touched and kissed a lot.

Once finally in their room Rick looked at Daryl. "So, the fucking West-Coast."

Daryl laughed. "Yeah. Although Aaron has always been kind of a showman, an exhibitionist, even when he was in Georgia. He always wanted me to watch."

"Have you ever, before?"

"Nah, wasn't interested really."

"Shit, sorry Daryl, I thought you wanted to. I wouldn't have said otherwise."

"No, it's ok. I was interested from the moment you said you were. I wanted to watch _with you_ and get you off like that. Just, you know, don't get too used to it."

"No argument from me." Rick agreed, making full eye contact and leaning in to kiss Daryl gently. "I have all I want here. I kind of just feel like we watched a porno together. A very realistic one." Rick realised his pants were drying and sticky. "And, I think I need a shower." He announced.

Rick stepped into the shower and thought about what he had seen tonight. He was particularly interested in the way Aaron and Jesus had swapped positions. It had surprised him because he assumed, from their first interaction that Aaron always topped, but no.  Aaron had more than eagerly changed the tables, obviously not for the first time, and he had obviously enjoyed it a lot.

So many things were swirling through his mind. The first was that even though he’d never asked, never even alluded to it, perhaps Daryl wanted them to be like that, and another was, based on the sounds Aaron had been making, maybe he was missing out on something. How had he not looked at it like that before? Especially as Daryl obviously enjoyed himself when they were together.

Rick usually tried to push it to the side. He had reasons for his boundaries.  But this was Daryl who he trusted implicitly. Daryl, who he loved. Maybe this should be different.

He finished his shower and walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was going to ask Daryl if he wanted to try something different, but Daryl was sound asleep on the bed. Rick only realised then that it was after 2am and he was also very tired.

He crawled into bed and curled up next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although the idea for this wasn't in my original plan for this story... it did come about quite a while ago, back before we ever had an inkling of an Aaron/Jesus friendship.. So it was originally Aaron/Eric in this sequence.. Although I had a soft spot for poor Eric, I did really love the idea of Aaron/Jesus and this became my weird / porn tribute to what might have been.


	17. Chapter 17

Rick slept soundly, but when he woke the next morning, his thoughts from earlier continued.

The bed was empty and from the sounds of it, Daryl was in the shower.

Rick padded over to the door and placed the 'do not disturb' sign outside on the handle before quickly going to the toilet and heading back to bed.

"Hey." Daryl said, when he exited the bathroom. He had a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist, and apparently hadn't attempted to dry himself at all judging by the water beading over his tan torso, shoulder and arms, and dripping from his hair.

"Hey." Rick replied sexily from the bed.

"I meant to show you something." Daryl said, more seriously than Rick expected. He strode to his travel bag and removing a piece of paper. He held it over to Rick who took a quick look at the row of 'negatives' against the various STD's listed. It mirrored the one he had shown to Daryl last week.

"No more condoms?" Rick asked with a sly smile.

"Yeah man. I'm more than ok with that. But, this also means we're exclusive. If you weren't already....?"

"You even have to ask?" Rick wondered aloud, to Daryl's strained expression, but then thought it through. "Yeah, I guess to be completely safe, you do need to ask." He paused. "Daryl, there hasn't been anyone else since the first night we were together.. and for a while before that, also. No one else since, and there won't be anyone else while we're together."

Daryl nodded slowly. "Same for me. But Rick, if you get bored, you have to let me know. If you want more of the Aaron & Jesus thing, will you promise to tell me."

"I would tell you, but I won't... want that, I mean. I promise." It was all practically a declaration of, if not love, then, a relationship. Rick pulled out the trump card. "But Aaron and Jesus did help me to realise something."

"What?"

"That I want your cock in me." Rick was breathless.

Daryl inhaled quickly.  His eyes were hooded, but smouldering behind those long lashes, and messy fringe. He looked as sexy as he ever had, still wet, wearing only the towel. "You sure?"

"God Daryl, look at you. You are so fucking beautiful, I can't believe I haven't asked you for this before."

"I just assumed you never wanted to, and I was ok with that."

"I didn't think I wanted to, but last night made me feel differently about it. If you say no to me now, I don't think I'll ever handle the rejection."

Daryl shook his head smiling. "So you want me to fuck you here and now on this huge bed?" Rick nodded. "You want me to fuck you without a condom? You want my come inside you?" Rick nodded, eyes ever wider. Daryl unfastened the towel so it dropped to the ground, his half hard cock hung heavily, and he stroked it absently. "You want to feel my hard cock in your arse, feel me riding you?" Rick nodded, and slowly touched his own dick.

Daryl walked over to the bed, crawled up Rick's body, so he was straddling his chest, and so that Rick opened his mouth to take the other man in. Daryl carefully moved back and forwards, gently fucking his lover's mouth. When his cock was completely hard, he withdrew and reached over to the side table for the lubricant.

Rick's eyes were as wide as saucers as Daryl applied lubricant to a finger and carefully pressed the finger into the unchartered territory.  He knelt down and took Rick's cock into his mouth, and quickly had Rick moaning at the sensation of being sucked off, and finger fucked. Daryl carefully inserted a second finger and continued pumping in and out, and after what seemed to Rick like ages of being on a precipice, Daryl carefully inserted a third finger and Rick felt the stretch, but Daryl was also hitting all the right buttons and Rick felt his orgasm rushing towards him like a freight train, muscles clenching exquisitely on Daryl's fingers.

"Fuck." Rick moaned when he could breathe.

"How did that feel?"

"Like the best orgasm I've ever had."

Daryl smiled. "That's probably enough for now."

"What?" Rick asked shocked.

"I think that's enough for now." Daryl slowly withdrew his fingers and stood up. "Seriously, I think we should pick this back up tonight. In the mean-time, we need to be tourists."

"Are you fucking kidding? You get me off that far, and then say we need to stop? And what about you?" Rick was surprised and incredulous, but not angry.

"Not kidding." Daryl shook his head and gave Rick a chaste kiss. "It'll feel better if we wait until later, and besides, I want to spend at least this whole day thinking about that tight arse of yours."

Rick moaned and pouted, but Daryl would not be budged. "Get in the shower, then get dressed. We're booked into the Alcatraz Island tour in an hour and a half."

"What?" Rick asked. "Alcatraz, seriously? Oh man, I have always wanted to do that tour. This is so awesome." Rick didn't realise he sounded like Carl.

"Oh, so all it takes for you to forget about my cock is a famous prison built on a rock in the middle of San-Francisco Bay? So fickle." Daryl asked, but he was laughing at Rick's enthusiasm.

Rick had been half way to the bathroom, but turned around and leaned up against Daryl, kissing him deeply. "I could never forget about your cock." He said cheekily.

Two hours later, Rick almost had forgotten about Daryl's cock. They were both wearing those silly-looking, but effective headphones they give out at tourist locations, and Rick was captivated by the narrative. What ex-cop wouldn't be enthralled by the idea of a prison in the middle of a harbour.  He had visited numerous prisons during his time on the force, but this one was obviously completely different.

Daryl had also visited a few prisons, or more accurately, visited his brother in a few different prisons, and was slightly less interested in the history of the place, although he did love the old Clint Eastwood movie.

Mostly though, he might have had trouble paying attention due to his constant semi-erection at the thought of what they would do tonight. His plan had been to drive Rick crazy, but he had forgotten that Rick would wear his tight jeans and that he had a habit of accidently, or not, brushing up against Daryl every chance he had. Daryl was glad it was cool and he was wearing a long jacket that covered his crotch area.

After the tour and boat ride back, they walked into the park overlooking the Golden Gate bridge. When they were secluded somewhat behind a large tree, Rick turned around and pushed Daryl up against the trunk. He levelled his eyes with the other man's, preparing to say the words he had been thinking for weeks now.

He leaned forward and placed a slow lingering kiss on Daryl's lips, then gently drawing back. "I love you Daryl. I'm so glad we came here." He gestured around them. "Glad we did all this, but mostly, I love you and I'm just happy being anywhere with you." He said evenly.

Daryl's eyes almost seemed to shine and he grabbed Rick behind the head and pulled him in for another slow kiss before replying. "I love you too man."

They stopped their make-out session against the tree when a few too many people wandered by, and Daryl hissed. "Hotel. Now."


	18. Chapter 18

Rick had barely finished replacing the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door handle, when Daryl closed the door and pushed him back up against it, kissing him feverishly. He unbuttoned Rick's shirt, pulling it aside to trail kisses down his chest, alternating sucking his left then right nipple.

Rick loved having his nipples sucked and couldn't help his loud moans. Daryl was being careful, but more forceful than usual, which Rick realised was a huge turn on. He held Rick's wrists together above his head, with one hand and pushed him harder back into the door, still kissing him and touching him with his other hand.

When he apparently couldn't stand it any longer, he dragged Rick over to the bed and semi-threw him on it before diving on top.  Somewhere in between kissing him, he managed to eventually remove all of their clothing, and he paused only to grab the lube, applying it gently to him before going back to the process of stretching him with his fingers. When Daryl deemed Rick prepared, he looked him in the eye, waiting for Ricks nod before lining up and pushing in gently.

Rick's body initially resisted, but with gentle force, slowly the muscles gave way and allowed Daryl entrance. With the head of his penis inside, he stilled and took his cues from Rick, who was basically speechless, but appreciative of the inertia. After a moment he nodded, and Daryl edged forward until he was completely inside.

"Jesus Rick, you're so tight around me right now, feel like I'm gonna come any second."

Rick still had trouble talking, but he managed a rasped "Kiss me. And fuck me." And so Daryl did, skilfully and when he was very close to coming, he took Rick in hand and jerked his cock. When Rick's eyes almost rolled back in his head, Daryl knew it was almost time.  He felt Rick's muscles contract even more and the man arched off the bed, moaning something indecipherable.

Daryl came then too, pulsing into him.

When they could breathe again, Daryl rolled off to the side of Rick, and wrapped his arms around his lover. "Was that ok. Are you ok?" He drew his fingers through Rick's hair, almost stroking it.

"Fuck yeah." Rick breathed. "That was amazing. " He moved his legs. "I'm a little sore now, but I wasn't during."

"I really didn't want to hurt you."

"I know, and I'm fine. Really. It was definitely worth it. And I definitely want to do it again." Rick drew away slightly and looked Daryl in the eyes. "I didn't realise how much you wanted to do that. You seem like… well, you’ve obviously done that before.  Do you usually top? All this time, you never said anything at all about.. you know, swapping positions. I feel a bit bad now making us _you_ wait this long."

Daryl shook his head and said seriously, "I usually go with what feels right Rick, and what we’ve been doing did feel right. I promise I was completely content, more than content, with our sex life and if you only ever wanted to only do that, it was totally fine. But I can’t deny, once you said you wanted to try this, a switch flipped in my head, and I couldn't really think of anything else. Damnit, I had the biggest hard-on for you all day."

Rick laughed loudly. "I thought you seemed distracted. Wondered if maybe you were feeling seasick."

"Nah man, it was the thought of your arse and what I was going to do to it that had me distracted."

They lay silently in bed for a while longer, napping, touching and kissing, and eventually went out for dinner.

The next morning they played tourist again for a few hours, visiting the cable car museum and Lombard Street, and then it was time to head to the airport.

They had initially discussed taking separate flights, and at the very least sitting separately, but at the last minute Rick asked the Check-in assistant to seat them together. She gave them a huge smile. "Of course, you two are way to adorable to split up."  It wasn't until they were boarding that they realised she had upgraded them to business and seated them in the back row of that section. They held hands, kissed and napped on each other's shoulder all the way home.

The slight drop in altitude woke Rick and he realised they were on approach to Atlanta.  Rick looked out his window at the high rises in the distance.  He couldn’t pick his office building, but could pinpoint the general location.  He realised his mind had been completely devoid of anything work-related for three consecutive days now. In the prior decade he probably hadn’t gone more than one day without doing some work at least, even just an email or at the very least mentally pondering a case strategy.  Here he was in the midst of one of Blake & Blake’s most important cases ever and he honestly couldn’t bring himself to be worried about it or even care at all.

He realised with a pang he had hardly thought of Shane over the weekend.  He turned and looked over at his _boyfriend?_ , more youthful in sleep, hair messily framing his lightly tanned face.  The way his tight black shirt stretched around his biceps didn’t hurt, but there was so much more to love about Daryl Dixon.

Rick stared and had the thought that what was really important in his life was sitting right next to him.


	19. Chapter 19

The following week Rick was in his office working, still feeling relaxed from their holiday, when his phone beeped.  He assumed it was a message from Daryl but frowned when he saw it was from an unknown number. _Meet me at Starbucks cnr Watson and Grange. 1pm today. Time to make my claim, Ricky boy._

He gazed around his pristine corner office, hands involuntarily clenching into fists.  The urge to scream was so great he wasn't sure he could stand it.

At 1pm he walked into Starbucks and spotted the man immediately. He looked out of place here. Anywhere in the city really, with his old jeans, battered coat and scraggy beard. He had aged of course. He was probably close to sixty now, but Rick noticed his expression appeared as sharp as it had twenty some years earlier.  He remembered the man’s strength, and suspected age hadn't slowed the him all that much.

"Joe." Rick said through gritted teeth as he reluctantly slid into the booth opposite the man he despised.

"Ricky." Joe exclaimed. "How are you doing boy?"

"It's Rick." He said through gritted teeth. "Why are you here?"

"What, no 'nice to see you Joe' or 'how have you been Dad?"

"You're not my Dad, never were." Rick spat.

Joe paused and looked around. “It’s nice here Ricky. This place, the city.  That’s a nice suit you’re wearing and you look fine in it.  I walked past your office building earlier, very fancy. You done really good for yourself boy. I feel like I’m getting a little glimpse of your life.  Are you like these people here? Do you come to places like this and drink your spiced chai latte and talk about your kid’s private school fees and your BMW’s?”

“What do you want?” Rick was impressed with his own steadiness.

"Ok. Well how about a, _Gee Joe, nice to see you.  How are things? And how did you recover, when I beat the shit out of you and left you for dead back in ninety four_?"

Rick narrowed his eyes and hardened his gaze into an expression that would have scared most people.

"Oooh, sorry, were we not supposed to talk about that? You know, I always end up breaking those social norms or some such shit. Damnit." He continued when it became apparent Rick was not going to comment. "It's a shame, because I was hoping we really could talk about it."

"Nothing to talk about." Rick ground out. He looked around the cafe, wondering suddenly if someone he knew could see them. But no one was paying them any attention.

"You nervous about being here with me?" Ever the astute observer.

"Just spit it out Joe."

"Well Ricky, glad you said that. You see, I've come into some hard times lately. You know, the past decades have been difficult for me, on account of the injuries I suffered back, you know.. in ninety four.  Anyhow, haven't been able to work as much as I'd have liked. But still I wasn't goin ta say anything, but lately it's become pretty dire for old Joe, so I eventually realised I would need to get in contact with you, especially now you're a hot-shot lawyer, and see if you could help out an old friend."

Rick shook his head. He had known instinctively from the moment he read the message that this was what the meeting would be about. "And from the kindness of my heart, I just spot you some cash?"

Joe leaned forward, eyes narrowed. "No Ricky, it's more that from the desire not to lose your reputation, your job, damn, your freedom, you deposit forty five G's into my chosen bank account."

Rick was careful not to give anything away. "Forty five thousand dollars. You’re fucking crazy. How much do you think I earn?" Rick knew how to play it calm as his heart rate picked up and his stomach flip-flopped as he wondered if Joe had hired someone to find out his bank balance.

"Alright, alright Ricky, well thirty would probably cover it. But no less."

Rick breathed a silent sigh of relief. Joe had probably plucked that figure from thin air, the asshole always was uncanny like that.

"Joe, there's no fucking way I have that kind of money, and if I did, there is absolutely no way I would give it to you."

"Really? Because I did some research and found that Blake & Blake doesn't take kindly to scandals surrounding their employees. I'm sure they wouldn't like to hear you put me in hospital for six months back then. Got all my hospital records. Still have pins in my wrists."

"Fuck you Joe. You can go ahead and say that, and I'll do what I should have done back then and tell everyone about what you tried to do to me, you fucking paedophile rapist. I'll destroy you."

Rick thought he saw a flicker of fear in the other man's face, but it was brief and he may have been wrong.

Joe stood up, his 6'4'' frame still intimidating despite his age, and looked down his nose at Rick. "Not before I destroy you first Ricky." He collected his bag. "And you got way more to lose than I do, I guarantee it.  I'll send you details, you best start looking at how to come up with thirty large in the next few days."

Rick stayed sitting, resisting the urge to follow the man. Joe would notice anyway, he was that kind of guy. Rick tossed the words around for a while. He thought he should probably get up and leave, but instead he rose and ordered coffee and then sat back down in the seat Joe had occupied. Joe was right.  No matter which way this went, his career was over. Sure he could put the man in prison, something he should have done long ago.  Ever the gambler, Joe was betting on Rick's career winning out.

And six months ago or even less, it might have. Rick's single focus had been on that damn job. Until Daryl came along. Daryl and his steady calm manner that had a tendency to rub off on whoever was around, including Rick. Especially Rick.  Daryl and his ideals and enthusiasm for life despite what must have been a worse childhood than Rick’s own.  Daryl who made Rick remember what it was he had started out wanting to do all those years ago when he joined the Police force, and again when he studied to become a lawyer. Who made Rick realise that the only thing he achieved these days was making money for himself and for the Blake Brothers.

Rick sipped his coffee and mulled it all over.

It would be difficult. Damn, it would be one of the hardest things he'd ever done and he may risk going to prison, although the objective part of his mind reasoned that was probably unlikely.  He could do it as long as he had Daryl behind him. But would he? He hadn't even told him the whole story. Before it had seemed too difficult to dredge up for no reason, but now he realised how simple it would have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be some warnings at the start of the next chapter for mentions of past attempted sexual abuse. It isn't graphic.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter, please review the tags. Rick discusses past / attempted past sexual abuse. It is't graphic, but it's unpleasant.

Rick was nervous but collected. “Daryl, there are some things I haven’t told you. From my past. He had just walked into Daryl's living room and decided to go for it and get it all out there.

Daryl nodded slowly, questioningly. “Ahhh yes. I’m sure there are. I can say the same thing.”

“I know. But this is…..  Well, I need to tell you this now.”

Rick waited for another nod and they both sat on the sofa.

"When I was fourteen, I was placed in foster care."

Rick had previously explained how after his parents died in a motor vehicle accident, he had lived with his Grandpa for a few years, before his Grandpa had a stroke and became unable to take care of Rick or himself.

"I got juggled around a bit for a few months, but then they found what was supposed to be a long-term home for me. With a guy named Joe, and his wife Moira. They had three other foster kids who were apparently happy."

Daryl was quiet.

"From the start I wasn't sure about the place. Something seemed a bit off but I couldn't put my finger on it although at first I thought it was Moira. There was something strange about her. She was always there, but mentally she seemed absent and kind of vague.

Joe seemed fine initially. Tough, but fair, or so I thought. He was a mechanic and a member of some scavenging group called the Claimers, which was a bit weird, but he used to come home with some interesting stuff. Bric-a-brac, antiques, car parts, other random things he would fix up and sell.

I would hang out with him in the shed after school and he showed me a few things about cars, and he was just generally good at fixing stuff and putting things together. I thought it was cool, I hadn’t done anything like that before, my Dad wasn’t really good at anything mechanical and my Gramps was too old to do it, by the time I was living with him.  In some ways it was a dream for a teenage boy.

Joe had this habit though of standing really close to you. He did it with me and with the other kids at home. When we were in the shed he would come over and stand next to me, touching me.. hike hip-to-hip, his leg touching mine.  I let it happen once or twice before I pulled him up on it and asked ‘why are you standing so close?’ He just backed away looking surprised, said he hadn’t realised.”

Rick smiled at Daryl. “I wasn’t shy, even as a kid. And now that I think about it, I think Joe was shocked.  He wasn’t used to anyone challenging him.  But it worked, he kept his distance and I kept hanging out in the shed.. Until.”

He cleared his throat.  “One night after I'd been there for a few months, I woke up to find him in my bed, touching me. And himself. I thought I was dreaming at first, a nightmare. By the time I woke properly, he was laying on top of me, pinning me down."

Daryl's eyes were was wide as saucers. He touched Rick's hand but didn't say anything.

"He was drunk, I could smell alcohol on his breath. Still, Joe was a strong guy. Way taller than me and all muscle. By any means, even with him drunk I shouldn't have been able to beat him in a fight, especially not with how scrawny I was at that age. But the Anger I felt then, Daryl I can’t describe it. I couldn't move much, except my head but I didn’t hesitate, didn’t even scream.  I twisted around, leaned up and latched onto his neck. I swear I could have bit his jugular out. I was sooo close. I had to force myself to release my jaw to let go. When I did, he kind of fell back, off the bed, and I jumped down and started whaling on him. Then when his face was a bloody mess, I started kicking him."

“I was Carl’s age now when this happened.” Rick shuddered and met Daryl's eyes. "I was a maniac. I couldn't stop. I told you about what I did to Shane, but this was the other time. This was the first time it happened. Honestly. It was as though I was someone else. Certainly I broke his nose and ribs. Probably his arm, or both arms." Rick took a deep breath, as though he was trying not to cry.

Daryl was still silent but had started rubbing a hand lightly up and down Rick's forearm.

"I'm a psychopath. I will understand if you want to run." He said forlornly.

"Rick. That ain’t you. I ain't going nowhere." It was a whisper. “What he tried to do…”

"He contacted me and I met him today. He's blackmailing me."

"What? Motherfucker." Daryl exclaimed.

"Said he'll press charges. Ruin my career, life."

"Why didn't he press charges before?" Daryl mused.

"I assume because he didn't want everyone to know he was a paedophile."

"And you didn't go to the police because you thought you'd get done for assault?" Daryl teased out slowly.

Rick nodded. "I was fourteen. I didn't know any better. I was terrified, but even more than that, I wanted to put it behind me and start living my life. It had been a really bad few years and I just had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to move forward and forget.”

Daryl nodded. That was definitely something he could understand.

“I need to think about how I’m going to handle this now though.” Rick stated. “I can’t keep running away from it.”

“You know I’m with you, right?” Daryl asked gently and Rick nodded gratefully.

They discussed the situation back and forwards for a few hours before they were both too tired and decided to sleep on it.

Rick woke in the middle of the night and rolled quietly out of bed. He went out to sit on the couch to contemplate the multitude of thoughts spinning around in his head.

The main question was – what did he really want?

What do I really want? It was such a simple question. And so familiar as a line bandied about readily by the media, by society generally. It was so common as to almost lose any meaning and become a slogan. Rick had heard it asked so many times, but he had never really stopped and put it into his own life, his own perspective.

It was as though he had never really been sure. The reverse however, was a lot easier and less open-ended. He had generally known what he _didn't_ want.

He didn't want to stay married to Lori after finding out about Judith's parentage. He didn't want to be a cop after the shooting. He definitely didn't want what Joe had wanted all those years ago.

But what did he want? He remembered now that Andrea had asked him the question when she broke up with him. Hands on hips, 'what do you really want, Rick? Because obviously this isn't making you happy.' It was angry but not spiteful. She was a smart, strong and analytically minded women. It was black and white for her. She left him because he wasn't happy any more, and she couldn't be happy if he wasn't.  He thought he had loved her, but he had gotten love mixed up with respect. It's hard to love someone you didn't respect, but you could respect someone greatly and not love them.  He recognised in her, many of his own qualities. He liked her no-nonsense approach, that she wasn't easily scared or skittish. He had always felt her to be an equal. Until eventually he realised he had it wrong, that he was not _her_ equal.

Although Andrea couldn't know the answer to the larger 'what do you want' question, she intuitively knew it wasn’t her, and she was smart enough to know that wasn't good enough for her, so she left.

When Lori had asked the same question, he also hadn't known.  Her question was framed around a tiny baby and her and Shane's indiscretion. Tears falling down her face. Enormous eyes looking up at him 'what do you want, Rick?' as she held Judith close. Shane's Judith.

Rick didn't know what he wanted, but he knew he didn't want that. He didn't want another man's baby, no matter how in love he already was with that baby. He didn't want another man's woman, even if she had been his first.

But what did he want? He had never answered it. He continued to stumble through life making decisions just by doing the opposite to.. whatever.

But somehow now, lots of answers stood out.  He had wanted to study law, so he did. He wanted to help people - children in particular.  He wanted Daryl. And he wanted to be a 'real' couple with him, not hiding out in their apartments. He wanted to be there for his friends. For Shane and Lori. For Carl and Judith. He wanted to leave his job. He definitely wanted to tell Philip Blake and his arsehole brother to go fuck themselves.

He thought maybe that would be the first step, but because he was an adult, his version of that was to write a letter of resignation.


	21. Chapter 21

Philip read the first two lines before dropping the letter on his desk. "Have you lost your fucking mind, Grimes? What the hell is this? You had two years, less maybe and you would have made partner.  And eventually, this place could have been Blake & Blake & Grimes.  I can't believe you would do this to yourself. Why?"

"Because, Philip, it's not making me happy. And being partners with you and Scott definitely won’t make me happy"

"What the fuck is _happy_? I always knew you were an idiot Grimes. If I liked you more, hell If I liked you at all right now, I might try to talk you into staying, but as it is. Fine. Whatever." He made a show of dusting off his hands. "Go. I want you gone from this office within the next ten minutes. We'll pay out your four weeks’ notice."

Rick had already predicted this, and spent an hour clearing files from his laptop, phone and desk, everything that related to work, and saving all contacts and other information he might need even though he had no intention of breaking the non-compete clause in his contract, so he left Phillip’s office without another word and headed down to Glenn’s office and rapped twice before stepping inside.

“I’ve resigned. I have eight minutes before I need to exit the building. Just wanted to come and let you and Michonne know.”

The look of surprise was almost comical on Glenn’s face. Still, at the same time as his jaw was falling open, he was standing up and muttering under his breath, marching Rick out of his office and over to Michonne’s across the hall.

“Chonne. Rick’s leaving us.” He announced without knocking, pulling rick into her office.

Michonne’s face in contrast lit up with a wide smile, and she let out a small squeal.

“Rick, I’m so pleased for you.” She rushed over and gave him a hug. “Good on you. Difficult decision?” Her eyes twinkled.

“Thanks Chonne, and no.  Well, yes. It was initially. But now I’m confident it’s the right thing to do.”

“Yeah, congratulations Rick.” Glenn said, finally finding his voice and holding his hand out to shake Rick’s.

“Thank you. I hope we won’t be strangers.” He said seriously to both of them. “I know there’s never been a lot of time for anything outside of work, but I consider you both friends and I hope we can find some time to catch up in the next few weeks.”

“Sure. Definitely.” Glenn almost looked like he might cry.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them and Rick turned to see building security.

“Guess my ten minutes is up.” He quipped, and gave a small wave to his now-ex colleagues.

Rick followed the company’s security guard, Theodore to the lift and they rode down together.

“Theodore, I don’t even know your last name.” He observed.

“Douglass. Most of my friends call me T-Dog.” He replied with a nod.

“Well, T-Dog, sorry I took so long to ask. It’s been a pleasure working with you.”

“You too Rick. Just between us, I wish I was escorting one or both of those Blake dickheads down in the lift instead.”

Rick laughed then. He didn’t realise how stressed he had been until the laughter released it, and he laughed louder than he could remember laughing in a long, long time. T-Dog laughed too and they only gained control when they reached the ground floor.

T-Dog stayed at reception whilst Rick handed in his access pass, and they walked together to the front doors.

“Thanks T-Dog.” Rick reached out and they shook hands.

T-Dog mock-saluted and walked back into the building.

Rick turned and walked two blocks west to the police precinct and went inside to press charges against Joe.

 

****************************

Judith had literally not stopped questioning Daryl from the minute he and Rick entered the house, and she was still at it over dessert.

"So Daryl, do you hunt animals with your crossbow?" She asked between shovelling apple crumble and ice cream into her mouth.

Lori and Shane looked amused. Judith had managed to coax a lot of random, varied information from the Dixon in the less-than two hours she had known him. She knew he liked listening to alternative heavy metal music, that he had a brother named Merle (Daryl had so far adeptly avoided having to mention prison, without actually lying), that his sixth form teacher was Miss Cottesloe and she didn't like him, that he had never owned a pet but loved dogs, and that he didn't like mushrooms or shopping. Rick had even learned some things.

"Ahh, sometimes Darlin, but only for food, not for sport." He replied, taking another sip of water, his own dessert long gone.

"Right, that's great." She seemed to approve, and Rick had to remind himself she was only thirteen. "So do you do a lot of camping?"

"I used to."

"We should do a boys camping trip." Shane announced.

"Boys and Girls." Judith admonished.

"Of course." Shane looked meek.

"I think I'm busy then. " Lori announced with a smile.

"How do you know, Mum? We haven't decided when yet."

"I know." Lori said firmly.

"So Daryl, you're a lawyer like Rick?" Judith stated more than questioned.

Daryl was about to answer, but Rick jumped in first. "Actually, as of yesterday, I'm not currently a lawyer." Rick announced.

"What?" Shane, Lori and Carl all echoed.

"I quit Blake & Blake. So technically I'm an unemployed bum. Sorry for the language." He glanced at Judith.

"What are you going to do?" Asked Shane.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure yet. But I have a few ideas."

After dinner Rick gestured to Shane that he needed to talk to him and they headed for the study as Carl was setting up the X-Box in the living room with Daryl. "Joe contacted me last week. Tried to blackmail me over beating him up."

Shane was immediately irate. "That fucking paedophile. You should have told me, I would have come with you. Wait, is that why you resigned?"

"It was the last straw Shane. I wanted to leave anyway, I just didn't realise how much. The work wasn't what I thought it would be, and there are…. other reasons."

"Daryl?" Nothing really got past Shane.

"Yeah, he's opposing council, and I’m not sure if you know about Philip Blake and Negan’s extreme dislike for each other? We couldn’t be seen together, I wouldn't have been able to bring him here otherwise, for you to all meet him. But also it’s for Carl, I don't see him enough, and now for Judith, and for you too. I realised I didn't want it anymore."

Rick took a deep breath. "I decided to press charges against Joe. I did it yesterday.  I should have done it already. Your Dad tried to convince me, but I wouldn't listen.  And I was so young then, I can excuse that. But I haven't been young for a long time now, and I just should have already done it. He needed to be locked up. I can't help but wonder now how many other kids he might have preyed on that maybe I could have prevented."

Shane was silent. "I agree you should press charges Rick. In fact, I might be able to help in some way. But please, you have done the best you could, I can't have you beating yourself up and taking the blame for everything."

Rick gave a small tired smile. "Thanks man."

When he and Daryl were leaving Judith stopped them at the front door. "I'll think about some dates for the not-boys camping weekend and let you know."

"Sure" said Daryl. "Your people can talk to my people and we'll get something locked into the diary."

Judith nodded firmly, and Rick wondered if she didn't realise Daryl was joking, or if she really had _people_. "Perfect." She said.

"Well shit." Daryl said when they were in the car. "She is a little ass-kicker. In the best possible way.  Was Shane like that at that age?"

"Yes. And no." Rick said. "He was assertive and stuff, but not detailed and organised like that."

"Lori?"

"Yeah, I guess that bit comes from Lori."

"And what about the empathy?" Daryl wondered.

"Yeah true. I'm not sure about that." Rick mused.

Daryl looked at him like he was mad. "It's from you, you idiot."

Rick raised his eyebrows. "Ahhhh... Do I need to explain fundamental biology to you Daryl? Not my sperm. Not my DNA."

"What I mean, is how many years did you spend with Shane and Lori.  And now Carl.  You've rubbed off on them, and that's translated to Judith." Daryl explained, exasperated as though it were obvious and Rick should have thought of it.

Rick was sceptical, although he appreciated the sentiment. "I don't know, maybe."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay

Shane called Rick the following week. "I ran a background check on Joe. He's got a record going back forty years. He is total scum Rick, in case you weren't already aware. I have no idea how he was approved to foster kids. Now I feel bad too for not doing something sooner."

Rick winced. Shane sounded about as riled up as he ever did.

“His wife Moira passed away two years ago, and he hasn’t fostered anyone since then at least.  Rick, he had assault charges brought against him, but subsequently dropped, by a girl who might have been your foster sister around that time?"

"What? Really? What's her name?"

"Sasha Williams. Did you know her?"

Rick ran his hand through his hair. He was standing in Daryl's kitchen, and Daryl was looking at him with a worried expression. "Sasha. Yeah, I knew her." Rick sighed.

"Rick, I think you need to try to get in contact with her and talk to her. For your case, but you know, it might be a good idea anyway."

"You got a number?"

"No, but I have an address. She's still back in KC."

Rick scribbled down the address.

"Want me to come with you, man?" Asked Shane.

"Nah. No, it's ok. Thanks. I'll let you know how it goes."

He hung up. "Feel like a road trip to your home town?" He asked Daryl

Rick finally explained the rest of his past to Daryl on the trip to the country.  Rick had changed schools a number of times after his parents passed away, but luckily all within a few counties of each other, and he had met Shane at one of the schools and they had become instant friends.  After he escaped from Joe he fled to Shane’s house, and Shane convinced Rick to explain what had happened to his father.  Shane's father was a lawyer and he was smart and insightful.  He had strongly encouraged Rick to press charges against Joe.

Rick had been adamant at the time that he wouldn't press charges, so in lieu of that, Shane's Dad put together a case for Rick to emancipate himself, and they were able to have that passed.  He also arranged for Rick to live with a nearby family on their farm in exchange for helping around the place, and most importantly, for finishing school.

"We’re going to stay with the Greene’s while we're in the area." Rick stated.

"Ok. But Rick, are there any more things from your past you want to tell me about now? You know, rather than drip-feeding me information over the next years when for some reason something comes up and you have no other choice?"

"Years, huh?" Rick asked with a huge grin.

"Did I say that?" Daryl asked, face turning a deep shade of red.

"Yep, sure did. And no. I think that covers off all the big stuff. Oh wait, there was that one time where I ran off to join the circus."

"Haha. No wait, really?"

"Nope." Rick shook his head emphatically.

"I actually used to date a circus acrobat." Daryl supplied.

"What? Ahhhh, no, let’s leave it.  I'm not sure I want to hear about it."

Daryl shrugged good naturedly.

*****************

Sasha opened the front door with a scowl and an annoyed "What!"

Rick studied her face. This was definitely the Sasha from his youth. His foster sister for a few months before he left the house. She was still as beautiful as he remembered, but there was no sign of the easy smile she used to sport.

She stared at Rick with a deep frown before recognition flickered in her eyes. She looked at Daryl, then back to Rick. "Rick? Is that you?"

"Hi Sasha." Rick held out his hand but she side stepped it and gave him a tight hug.

"Wow. Rick... I've forgotten your last name, but I remember your face well."

"Grimes." He supplied. "And this is my friend Daryl."

"Hi." Daryl offered his hand and Sasha shook it with a smile.

"Well come in Rick and Daryl." She motioned and turned and led the way into her small apartment.

She motioned for the men to sit on the couch, and she pulled up a chair across from them.

"I'm happy to see you Rick, but I get the feeling this isn't just a reunion visit?"

She had always been direct, he remembered that now.

"Sasha, Joe contacted me recently. He's trying to blackmail me."

"What? How?"

"From that time when I....."

"When you kicked the living shit out of that scumbag?"

Rick nodded.

"Well that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That man is as dirty as they come and there is no way anything he says would hold up. Not possible."

"Yeah, I know that. I've decided to press charges against him instead. I want him put away. I should have done it years ago. I just found out you tried to do it once before."

She looked startled, then sad. "How'd you find out?"

"I’m a lawyer now, and I used to be a cop. Sasha, I would really appreciate it if you would testify with me."

Sasha looked away nervously for few moments, before turning back to Rick. "I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't. Look, I need to go out for work soon, so you two will have to leave." She said, now borderline hostile.

"Sasha, I know it's a lot to take in, and I know it's completely out of the blue. But I would really appreciate it if you would take some time to consider. Could I maybe, give you a call next week?"

She was chewing on her nails, but raised her eyes to meet Rick's. "Ok." It was quiet and uncertain, but Rick would take it. She gave him her number and they said their goodbyes.


	23. Chapter 23

Daryl was silent in the car, wanting to give Rick some time and space. He placed his hand on Rick’s thigh.

Rick eventually felt some of the sadness and tension from his discussion with Sasha fade, as he carefully manoeuvred his BMW down the long dirt drive to the Greene's farm.

His memories of this place were solid happy ones and he was thrilled to be back and annoyed with himself at how few times he had been.

When he called Maggie she had been over the moon to hear from him.  She was back living on the farm at the moment, having recently broken up with her long-term boyfriend.

He hadn't even parked the car when the front door opened and Maggie ran out. She waited until he had almost exited the car before giving him a huge hug, which he returned.

"Rick, I'm so glad to see you."

"Me too Maggie. I'm sorry it's been so long." They walked around the other side of the car, Maggie still holding his arm as though she was worried he would disappear. "Maggie this is my friend Daryl. Daryl, Maggie."

Maggie looked from Rick to Daryl. "Rick, firstly why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend? And secondly, why didn't you tell me how hot your boyfriend is? Damn, we used to be able to talk about this stuff. It's definitely been too long."

Daryl smiled and shook Maggie’s hand. "Good to meet you Maggie."

"Daryl, that accent you try to hide is very familiar." She gave him a piercing stare.

"Busted." He said. "I grew up less than thirty miles from here. I've driven past your farm before.”

Rick hadn't even realised that.

"Come inside, Daddy will be so happy to see you both." Maggie indicated they should follow her.

Hershel Greene was reading a paper in the lounge room and he stood up quickly when they entered the room.

"Rick." He rushed over to shake Rick's hand. "It's so good to see you. You're looking well."

"Thanks Hershel, so are you. Hershel, this is my friend Daryl."

"Daryl, it's very nice to meet you also." Hershel's eyes sparkled, he obviously knew Daryl was more than a friend.

Daryl smiled as he shook Hershel's hand. "It's a nice place you have here Hershel."

"Daddy, Daryl grew up not far from here."

"Is that so? Well that's a coincidence, you and Rick meeting all the way over in Atlanta."

Rick and Daryl nodded, both with the same slightly goofy smile.

"Maggie's arranged where you're staying, so I'll let her get you settled in. Then it will be almost dinner time."

Maggie led them, outside, chattering all the way. She told them her sister Beth and her husband lived a few counties over and she now had three children, the youngest was just two weeks old so she really had her hands full.. She had wanted to see Rick, but couldn't make it over right now.

Rick and Daryl only had a small bag each which they retrieved from the car, and Maggie continued to lead them outside.

"Ahh, where are you taking us Maggie?" Rick asked.

"You'll see." She answered smugly as she led them towards the barn.

They followed her inside and walked to the far end, and through a small door and Rick saw that a portion of the barn had been converted to living quarters. And not just living quarters, but a very tastefully decorated country-chic apartment. She showed them around, there was a bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom, and a back porch on the opposite side to the house, with a beautiful view out over the side paddock.

"Wow Maggie, how long has this been here?" Rick wondered. "It looks like one of those places from a travel magazine."

This caused her to smile widely. "This is all brand new. I've been working on it for the past few months. When I moved back home I wasn't sure what to do, but I had the idea for a while now that it might be the kind of place city folk would like to come for a weekend getaway. I just put the finishing touches on it last week, you'all are the first ones to stay here. And I expect some honest feedback. Okay?" She finished seriously.

"This is wonderful." Daryl said. "I'm sure people would pay good money to stay here."

"Thank you Daryl."

"Maggie, thank you so much. You know we would have been fine sleeping on the floor, or anywhere really, are you sure this is ok?"

"Yes, definitely." She said. "But I just ask that you talk it up as much as possible to all of your friends back home.  You know, if you feel like it." She said.

"Definitely." Rick agreed.

Maggie left them to get settled, and with instructions to head up to the house for dinner in about half an hour.

Rick and Daryl wandered out to the little porch and sat down.

"They seem like good people." Daryl commented.

"Yeah, they really are. I was very lucky to meet them, and for Hershel to let me stay here. I feel like things could have easily gone very differently for me, and eternally lucky to have been given these opportunities."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while and then Rick wandered around and took a few photos, before they headed up to the main house.

Dinner was a fun-filled affair. Maggie had done most of the cooking, and she had improved dramatically from what Rick remembered.

As though reading his mind she snapped. "Shut up. I took some classes."

Everyone laughed and Rick held out his hands as if to say, I don't know what you mean.

Daryl snickered. "Not sure Rick can actually cook. I've known him for months now and have almost never seem him cook anything more than a fried egg or spaghetti."

"Hey. I can cook." Rick defended, before relenting. "Okay, okay, I really can't cook. Can't be good at everything." He added cockily and everyone laughed, with Daryl kicking him under the table.

There was a somber moment when they realised the last time Rick had been here was for Hershel’s wife Annette’s funeral three years ago.

Hershel retired soon after dinner, explaining he had been up since dawn and he would see them in the morning.

It was a mild evening so Maggie, Rick and Daryl migrated out on the main porch, Maggie and Rick reminiscing, Daryl joining in with some of his own stories from living in the area.

Eventually Rick asked “What happened with Brad, Maggie?”

“Oh, you know, that usual story. Seven years together and he finally confessed that he didn’t really want children. Or he didn’t want them with me anyway.” Maggie’s voice was even but the bitterness was apparent. “It’s been a difficult six months for me. I’ve been. Well, I guess I’ve been depressed. I basically decided to move home and re-evaluate things. I really do want to have children, but now, mid-thirties, no relationship on the horizon, I have to start facing the possibility that it might not happen for me.” She shrugged sadly.

“You did the right thing though, no point staying with someone when you so obviously wanted different things.” Daryl offered.

“Yeah I know, thanks Daryl.  It was difficult, but the right decision. And once I got back here and realised Daddy was struggling a little with the farm, the holiday rental idea came to me, it’s been a good project to keep me busy.”

“You’ve done a great job with it Maggie, believe me, I remember how it used to look. I even went through a phase where I slept out in the barn for a few weeks when I was younger. It’s definitely a lot different to that.” Rick chuckled.

“I have three gorgeous nieces and nephews too, so maybe that will be enough. I spend a lot of time with them.”

Rick smiled gently.

“Hey, have you talked to Shane lately?” He wondered.

“No.” She replied emphatically. “Not in at least a year I guess.  Why. Have you?” She asked pointedly.

“Actually, yes…”

Rick was cut off by Maggie’s squeal of joy. “That’s wonderful Rick.” She reached over and slapped his leg. “I’m so pleased to hear that. I was starting to think you would never talk to each other again.”

“You and me both Mags. But it’s good and I’m glad we’re talking. I’ve missed him, without realising it.”

“Rick and Shane were joined at the hip when they were younger.” Maggie explained to Daryl.

“Yeah, I kind of gathered.” Daryl said.

“You can’t get two more different types, but somehow they just clicked. And for all Shane’s macho bluster and womanizing, he never once cared that Rick was into guys.”

“Rick nodded. Yeah, it’s true. I mean, that’s not to say he didn’t ever make fun of it, but he made fun of everything, in equal measure, and never maliciously. Well, mostly not.” Rick amended. “You should give him a call, Maggie, I’m sure he’d like to hear from you.”

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. “I will, that’s a good idea. It’s been too long.”

“Do it sooner than later, ok?” Rick was intense and Maggie looked a little surprised, a little like she was going to say something else, but instead she just nodded again.

“Ok. I will.”

They talked for a while longer, and then eventually it was time for bed.

Rick and Daryl held hands while strolling back to their barn accommodation.

“So many stars.” Daryl pointed out and they both gazed up appreciatively.

Rick fell asleep spooning Daryl.

The next morning Rick stirred early, only to realise Daryl was already awake.

"Hey." He said sleepily.

Daryl replied by kissing him. Because they were guys they didn't give a shit about morning breath. They did care about morning hard-on’s, which they both had, but Rick really didn't want to mess up the sheets given Maggie would be the one to wash them. He ushered Daryl towards the shower where they jerked each other off at the same time and Daryl pushed Rick against the wall and sucked water off his collarbone.

After breakfast Maggie convinced them there was enough time to go for a quick horse ride before they had to leave.

"Is this one of your planned activities for guests who stay here, and are you, by any chance using us as test cases?" Rick asked insightfully.

"Yes. And yes." Maggie replied unapologetically.

"Well, okay, but I don't even know if Daryl can even ride a horse."

"I should be able to hold my own." Daryl chipped in.

He did. Daryl was almost as good a rider as Maggie, which might have pissed Rick off, but he loved both of them so much, and Daryl looked extremely sexy on horseback. They had a great ride up into the hills, then down to a gully and back to the farm.

Everyone was sad they couldn't stay longer, but they left promising to return soon. As paying customers, Rick had said pointedly, to which Maggie scoffed.

They said their goodbyes and made the usual promises to see each other more often, and then it was time for the men to leave.


	24. Chapter 24

Later in the car after a prolonged stretch of silence, Rick asked: "So what was the acrobats name?"

Daryl stared at him for a few moments. "Caesar Martinez. Marty for short."

"How sweet." Rick sneered. "How long did you date?"

"Six years."

"Shit. Really?" Rick did a double-take.  That was longer than any of his relationships, including his marriage.

"Yep. But he travelled a lot. Obviously. So we didn't spend a lot of time together. Not any _normal_ time. It was always me flying somewhere to meet him for a weekend - during which he had to work anyway, or waiting until he had a break so he could come home for a week here and there. Sometimes we would meet in between. My work wasn’t as busy then. It was definitely not your average relationship."

"How did you meet?"

"Hmpf. Through Merle. He helped out at the circus one time when they set up near where we lived. I went out to pick him up, ended up having a few beers there and met Marty."

“And it ended because of his job?”

“Kinda. I wanted him to be around more often, you know, that _normal_ _relationship_ , whatever that is. He couldn’t, of course. But I often think we wouldn’t have worked out if it was a more conventional relationship.  He was pretty hard to pin down.”

Rick tried really hard not be jealous, and he definitely tried not to be annoyed, but he was. Not 'annoyed I could rip out the guy's throat' kind of annoyed, but still he didn't like the idea of anyone else with Daryl. Even before they met.

Daryl obviously sensed Rick's strange mood, because when they got back to Atlanta, he asked if Rick preferred he didn't stay over that night.

But Rick shook his head can continued driving to his apartment. He was quiet again until they arrived. "Daryl, I definitely want you to stay here tonight. I want you to stay with me. I... want you." He almost whispered.

Almost as suddenly as it had arrived, his anger evaporated and he simply decided to spend the next few hours, or life-time helping Daryl forget any old boyfriends ever existed.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"It's ok." Daryl met his eyes and Rick moved closer to kiss him gently.

Rick led him to the bedroom and continued kissing him. He slowly and almost reverently started to remove Daryl's clothing, and when that was done, he quickly stripped out of his own.

He lay Daryl down on the bed and ran his hands up and down his body. He then rained kisses across the man's chest, belly and thighs before taking his hard cock into his mouth. He sucked him in and out, taking his cues from Daryl's moans, bringing him to the brink, then backing down. Then he moved up and kissed Daryl full on the mouth, licking into his mouth, sucking on his tongue deeply, all of it slow however, not letting the usual urgency take over. He wanted to draw this out, make it last.

He picked up Daryl's legs and indicated for the other man to hold them with his hands behind his knees, drawing his thighs back to his chest. Rick stared at the man, so open and inviting below him. He leaned down and licked a line from Daryl's balls to his arse and back again, then he buried his tongue inside the hole as far as it would go. He licked his finger and slowly inserted one, then swapped it for his tongue and continued on this way.

When Daryl was panting and moaning Rick grabbed the lube and used it to work up to inserting three fingers, before taking Daryl's cock in his mouth again. He still felt absolutely no sense of urgency as the other man almost came undone over and over.

Once Daryl's body allowed itself to be fucked easily with Rick's three fingers, and with Daryl moaning 'please Rick' over and over again, his eyes partly closed, Rick finally lined his cock up and pushed forwards slowly but in one movement, until he could go no further. He allowed Daryl's legs to rest down slightly and leaned up to kiss him long and hard.

But he didn't move in and out of him straight away, he just kissed him until Daryl opened his eyes and stared deep into the mirror image of blue irises.

"I love you so fucking much." Rick rasped

"Me too Rick." Daryl all but moaned.

Finally Rick started to move, still very slowly, but with all the build up, he knew they still wouldn't be able to last long. He took Daryl's cock in his hand, and at the same time pushed in deeply and out slowly, eye contact unbroken until Daryl's moans stopped and he was silent just before his eyes fluttered and he moaned 'Rick' over and over again, coming into Rick's hand.  Rick allowed his own orgasm to crescendo and wave after wave pulsed through his body into his lover.

They were exhausted, spent, satiated, and Rick felt warm and happy as he continued to run a hand over Daryl's body, anywhere he could reach.

"Move in with me." The words fell from Rick's mouth although he didn't know how because he could have sworn his mind was completely devoid of any coherent thought. He probably looked as surprised as Daryl, but it quickly turned to joy as he realised it was exactly what he wanted.

"I mean, let's move in together. It doesn't have to be here. But I want us to be together. I don't want to worry about whether you're staying the night or not......."

"Okay." Daryl said, interrupting whatever else Rick was going to say."

They stared at each other a while before kissing and writhing around on the bed some more, before falling asleep, sticky and sweaty and happy.


	25. Chapter 25

"Rick, dude, you are so lucky you left." Glenn said over coffee one morning.

Rick appraised his usually happy-go-lucky friend and decided his boyish features did indeed look stressed.

"What's going on?"

"The case load is crazy. Philip keeps taking on more work, and he hasn’t even hired anyone to replace you yet. We're all working eighty hour weeks." Glenn was talking fast and drinking his coffee faster.

"Wish I could say or do something to help. Truth is, I was doing it too up until last month. I knew it was too much work and there was not enough life, but I couldn't seem to pull back or stop. Not until I met.... Well, until I met someone." Rick mused.

"You met someone? Wow, why didn't you tell me Rick?"

"Aaah, just wanted to keep it a little on the quiet, I guess. It’s so new and all." Rick stumbled. He knew he should tell Glenn. He wanted to tell him, but he needed to discuss it with Daryl first.

"Well, congratulations man, hope I get to meet her soon." Glenn added, before looking at his watch. "Shit, I've got a meeting in ten minutes." He drained the last of his coffee. "It was really great to catch up with you. Sorry it wasn't longer. Maybe we'll arrange a dinner some time, and you can bring your new woman."

Rick started to feel like a bigger idiot for not saying anything, but decided now wasn't the time. There was nothing wrong with Glenn’s assumption. He knew Rick and Andrea had been a couple, he would simply assume Rick was with a woman again.

"Yeah, let’s do that. See you Glenn, take care and say Hi to Michonne for me." They shook hands and Glenn started to hurry off, before Rick remembered something. "Oh, hang on a sec." He called out, and Glenn turned around. "I just remembered something. I have a friend starting up a B&B out in the country, about three hours drive. It's on a farm, real nice, relaxing, quiet, no one around. Great home style cooking. It might be just the thing you need, a little break from work."

Glenn looked doubtful.

"Look, I'll text you the details. If you decide you need to take some personal time, give my friend Maggie a call. Let her know you know me, and she'll take real good care of you."

Glenn nodded, but with an expression that said he thought it unlikely he would ever have the time for a break, smiled and waved and was gone.

Rick spent the next few minutes texting Maggie to say that he had started to spread the word about her business, but that if anyone he knew came to stay, to make sure she didn't mention Daryl just yet.  He knew Maggie would understand, and she wasn't a gossip anyway. Mostly.

Then he sent Glenn her number and the details, and almost as an after-thought, the photo he had taken from the window of the converted unit in the barn, out to the paddock when he and Daryl were there.  He wasn't a great photographer, but his fancy phone’s fancy camera had somehow captured the filtered light just right, and the rich colours of the field, trees and sky. It looked like it could be from a travel brochure, and it made Rick want to go back.

Then he got distracted for a few minutes by the next photo, which was a selfie of he and Daryl. It was the only photo he had of them together. Even in San Fran, they had taken photo's of each other, but none together.  Here they were both laughing up into the camera. Matching blue eyes, Ricks' own salt n pepper stubble, Daryl's shaggy hair slightly across his face. They looked happy and carefree, and it brought a big smile to Rick's face.

 _Miss you_. He texted Daryl.

 _Can't miss me. You just saw me an hour ago_. Came the reply. Followed immediately by. _Miss u 2_.

Rick grinned, dusted off his hands and got ready to go and meet Daryl's friend who ran a women and children's shelter.  Daryl had put him in contact with Carol Peletier, who apparently had contacts everywhere and lots of information on where Rick might be able to apply his _lawyering_ services for good.

Carol's shelter was in an inexpensive but relatively safe suburban area, located close to a train line.

Rick liked her immediately and he had an inkling she took to him too, but it was hard to tell, she didn’t give much away.

She ran him through what they did at the shelter, the way their funding grants and expenses were structured, the various contacts she had and where she thought the gaps in the system were.

After a few hours, Rick thought he had enough information to take away and work on a proposal for how they might be able to work together, and possibly even apply for extra funding.

In fact, he was so excited by it, he went home and spent the next five hours engrossed in the proposal and was surprised when he heard a key turn in the front door, signalling Daryl’s arrival home.

“Hey.” Rick said, eyeing off Daryl’s perfectly fitting suit and now slightly messy hair.

“Hey.” Came the gruff reply, before he deposited his bag and walked over to embrace and kiss Rick. Rick thought it was the most amazing feeling, kissing his boyfriend when he got home from work, and marvelled at his stupidity all those months ago for thinking this was just about sex, and not being sure they should kiss.  Now he wanted to kiss him all the time. Amongst other things.

Later that night after they had done most of those other things, and a whole lot more kissing and were laying naked side-by-side in bed, Rick wondered cheekily.

"So you've never thought about Carol?"

"What do you mean? I think of her often."

"Yeah, but I mean..." Rick paused for effect and looked Daryl directly in the eyes. "Well Carol's a stunning woman. And she’s very smart and direct. And she is very fond of you." Rick raised his eyebrows.

Daryl just shook his head.

"What? Really? You've known her for a long time."

"Yeah, like a sister, Rick. Carol is like a sister to me. Sides, I've never been attracted to a woman in that way. None. Ever." Daryl narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Why? Are you attracted to her?"

"Well, Daryl, like I said, Carol is a very attractive woman, and she is smart and funny and compassionate. But no, I'm not attracted to her either.” He paused. “I mean, you know, _maybe_ , if I had met her before you….”

“Shut up.” Daryl drawled good naturedly and gently punched Rick on the shoulder. “Go to sleep.”


	26. Chapter 26

It was the weekend of the not-boys camping trip.  They were in Daryl's jeep, which, when Rick first saw it for the first time twenty minutes prior, he had enquired "Just how many vehicles do you own Dixon?"

"Just this car and the two bikes. And technically one of which is Merle's anyhow, so not that many.”

"How big a garage are we going to need?" Rick mused. It was two weeks since the trip to Kings County, and since Rick suggested they move in together but they hadn't done anything about it yet. Daryl's lease was due to expire in two months, so they decided he would move in with Rick some time before then. But Rick hadn't told Carl yet, and he needed to do that first. He was nervous but he didn't really know why. Carl really seemed to like Daryl, so it was probably just getting his own mind-set to catch up and realise that he didn't need to hide him, _them_ any more. There were no issues with work now and so what if he was with a guy, it was (mostly) ok with the rest of society too. But also, when had he ever given a shit about what society thought? He had lately started to wonder if he himself was more prejudiced than everyone else?

"Sell the BMW and use this instead. We don't need two cars." Daryl suggested offhand. "Now get in the fuckin jeep." Daryl had slapped him lightly on the arse.

"Yesir." Rick tipped his cap and thought about Daryl’s suggestion. He had loved that car when he bought it. Or at least, he had fallen in love with the idea of that car. But truth be told, he hardly ever used it. It was definitely very nice to drive but he couldn't help feeling like a fraud in it.

"Yeah, okay. I’ll sell it." Rick felt Daryl look at him as though surprised he had agreed, but he didn't say anything.

They were silent for a while as Daryl navigated them through the heavy traffic and out of the city.

"And so, just how many weapons do you own, Dixon?" Rick asked turning to look at the back seat where a crossbow sat next to a rifle wrapped in a blanket, under which Rick knew there were at least two hunting knives.

"You know, if there’s something you want to say, you should just come out with it.” Daryl suggested with a smile.

"It’s just that, well. Multiple vehicles, multiple weapons. Cut-off sleeves." Rick took the opportunity to reach out and touch the closest part of sculpted tan skin currently on display. "Cocky Southern drawl."

"Are you calling me a hillbilly, Grimes?" Daryl asked with a forced frown.

"Most definitely not." He feigned contempt. "I was calling you a redneck."

Daryl laughed heartily. "I guess I can't argue that one."

"Hillbilly big city lawyer. Doesn't really add up." Rick pondered.

"Nah, well I'm not exactly a lawyer. That would be you." Daryl pointed out.

"Not anymore." Rick countered. “But this isn’t about me.” He paused to look again at his lover’s relaxed posture in the driver’s seat. "Daryl Dixon. Public prosecutor extraordinaire and defender of the common man. Gym junkie. Motorcycle enthusiast. Outdoorsman."

Daryl grunted in feigned annoyance.

"Or should we say Woodsman?”

They both chuckled.

“Smart. Handsome."

"Get out." Daryl faked batting at Rick.

"I can't, I'm stuck here in your jeep going sixty on the freeway. Besides, you'd miss me."

"Fuck yeah." Daryl reached over and rubbed Rick's thigh.

"You know, Daryl, we're gonna be camping with my kid, my not-kid and my ex-best friend all weekend. We got our own tent, but that thing is just flimsy nylon and not very sound-proof." Rick now extended his hand over to Daryl's thigh.

Daryl swallowed hard. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say we should find a quiet place to pull over, before we get to the camp-ground." Rick announced confidently, now most definitely not looking at Daryl, but rubbing his hand harder and higher on his inner thigh.

At the next rest stop, Daryl swerved the car off the road and pointed them towards a track at the end of the car park. He continued along the track for about five minutes, before turning the car around facing back towards the way they had come.

"This is the kind of thing cops hate." Rick announced. "Kids pulling off the road to make out, some weirdo comes along and....."

Daryl interrupted. "Yeah, well good thing we're not kids. And with the armoury I have here, I don't think it's going to be a problem."

"I agree, also I don't think we'll be here all that long." Rick said, as he leaned over and unzipped Daryl's pants.

Daryl's hand gripped the window frame of the car, his head fell back, mouth open, breath heavy.

"Ricckkk..." Was the only word from his mouth.

Rick continued sucking, bobbing up and down, enjoying the feel of Daryl in his mouth. He continued sucking as Daryl came, and swallowed everything down. Once finished, he sat up, wiped his mouth and smiled widely.

"Glad we stopped here. The view's great." He looked over at Daryl appreciatively, his head still back, pants open. "You know, I definitely think I could get used to road trips with you."

Daryl turned his head over. "What is it with you and road trips? Have they always made you horny?"

"I don't think it's road trips in general. It honestly never used to be an issue. I think it's about proximity to you that makes me horny."

"Hmmm, well that I can understand." Daryl leaned over and pressed their lips together. He kissed him hard as he opened Rick's zipper and fisted his cock. Rick's moans were muffled by their kissing.

***************************

"Sorry we're late." Rick announced when they arrived at the campsite.

"It's ok." Judith called out. She walked over and hugged first Rick and then Daryl.

"You're not that late." Shane stood up from hammering in a tent peg. He and Rick hugged quickly, and he shook Daryl's hand.

"We saved you a spot for your tent over here. Judith pointed right next to the tent already set up." She looked so excited, they couldn't turn her down.

Daryl shared a quick grin with Rick as they set up their tent. "Glad we had that rest stop." He whispered.

They made short business of setting up Daryl's tent. Rick actually had a vague feeling it might have gone faster if he hadn't been helping at all, but he hoped he didn't hinder the process too much.

"Dad, is it ok if Daryl gives us a demo with the crossbow?" Carl asked.

"Sure, if it's ok with Daryl" Rick replied.

Daryl nodded. They all traipsed through the woods to a suitable clearing. Daryl set up a target and they backed up and watched.

The first shot hit the inner ring. The next three all bullseyes.

Carl and Judith looked mesmerised.

"Want a go?" Daryl looked over at Rick and Shane.

"Hell yes." Shane jumped up. "Always wanted to try it." He practically snatched the bow from Daryl.

"Whoa, do you need any help, man?"

"Nah, I was watching you." Shane said as he loaded an arrow and pulled back. The arrow went high, right over the target.

"Shit." He said, scratching his head.

Daryl stood up behind him. "Here, like this." He reached around and levelled the crossbow in front of Shane. Rick's cock twitched traitorously at the sight of his boyfriend and friend so close together. Daryl placed a hand on Shane's shoulder to steady him.

"Get a grip, Grimes." Rick hissed to himself.

Fortunately the moment was short-lived as Daryl succeeded in helping Shane get a hit on the target.

When it was Rick's turn, Daryl properly draped his body around him in order to help.

"Oh my god." Was Carl's disgusted comment. Judith just giggled, and Rick was glad he couldn't see Shane. Rick's arrow didn't hit the target, but he chalked that up to having wiggled his arse at the last minute, in order to feel it against Daryl, so missing the target seemed a small price to pay.

From somewhere in his arsenal Daryl produced a smaller timber long bow and helped Carl and Judith have a turn. They each hit the target after many practices, Carl even nailing the bullseye.

Rick and Shane were standing behind, and Rick was the only one to notice Shane double over in what appeared to be a spasm of pain. It seemed to pass quickly, and Rick placed a hand on his shoulder and raised is eyebrows asking if he was ok.

Shane gave a short nod, but his tight expression spoke volumes, and Rick had a hard time keeping his spirits light after that.

At dinner around their campfire however, Shane was the one who regaled them with jokes and some mild scary stories, and threaded marsh mallows onto sticks for everyone, and Rick felt his mood lift a little.

The next day they went for a walk and then a swim and did some more target practice with the bows.   Shane and Rick did a lot better this time, even Daryl looked impressed.

“Maybe they weren’t so crazy to let you two carry guns.”

“Not crazy at all. Rick here had the best aim of our graduating class.  The asshole, just pipped me out of first place in target finals.” Shane grumbled.

“Is that right?” Daryl drawled, giving Rick an appreciative look that seemed to travel the length of his body and would have had them both scrambling out of their clothes, had they not an audience.

Rick bit his lip, not trusting himself to speak, and simply nodded, maintaining eye contact with his lover, enjoying knowing how this would play out when they could be alone together.

“Get a room.” Carl groaned, and Rick blushed, moving to Shane and taking the bow from him to fire another arrow close to the bullseye.

That night they had an early BBQ and sat around telling more stories, Shane in particular dredged up some early memories from his and Rick’s time on the force and re-told them somewhat accurately and with a minimum of swearing.  Everyone, including Rick was in hysterics over the time Shane had swapped Rick’s uniform with another that was two sizes too small. He had also hidden all other uniforms and there was nothing Rick could do but wear it all day, his ankles sticking out at the bottom, and trying not to pop buttons off his shirt. He hadn’t spoken to Shane for a week after that.

All too soon it was Sunday and time to pack up and leave.  The kids moaned about going home, but at least it meant they had had a great time. They all planned to do it again.

Rick was melancholy on the trip home, and Daryl seemed to understand, trying to do most of the talking and keeping it light. Rick knew how much Daryl hated small talk and appreciated the effort.

At home that night, however, Daryl turned on the smouldering gaze he had used during the target practice the day before, and that was all it took to refocus Rick’s mind on removing all of their clothing and running his tongue over as much of Daryl’s skin as possible. This time, however, Daryl took control and gently pushed Rick down, grabbing the lube to thoroughly prepare his boyfriend, before fucking him hard and fast, to Rick’s complete enjoyment. Rick came screaming, unable to further bear the stimulation to his prostate as Daryl’s hard, thick cock pounded it over and over, the blunt head rubbing over the area in the most delightfully almost, but not quite, painful way.

Daryl continued pounding his boyfriend until he came, pumping Rick full of his come and not withdrawing until he had no choice.

When he had caught his breath he sat up between Rick’s unashamedly splayed legs.

“Been waiting a whole day to see my cum leaking out of the top shot of your graduating class.” Daryl rasped.

Rick laughed whole-heartedly, spreading his legs suggestively further. “Crack shot, I think is what you meant to say.” He quipped.

“Yeah, crack-something.”


	27. Chapter 27

Over the next weeks’ Rick and Carol worked hard to submit a funding application for a combined Shelter and Legal service. The funding would contribute to a meagre wage for Rick, whose role would be to provide advice and representation for women, children, and men who were victims of domestic violence and abuse.

Some of his clients would be those who stayed at the shelter, and others would be referred by nearby refuges, shelters and in some cases, hospitals.

They were able to secure good lease terms for a modest office in the building next door to the shelter and three months after submitting the paperwork for funding, and with all indications that it would be approved, Rick decided to bite the bullet and take the office and open his own solo practice and start working.

He would charge a small fee for those who could afford it, to cover home and office rent, and continue to live off his savings for now. He and Daryl came in on the weekend to fix up the office, sanding, patching and painting the tired old olive-green walls a warm white.

No one could fault the quality of their workmanship, but when it came to interior decorating, they both suspected their efforts were not up to scratch. This was confirmed when Carol arrived and peered around.

“I’d have expected better from a gay couple.” She quipped, eyes twinkling.

“Ouch.” Daryl winced, what are you trying to say? Whilst Rick pretended to look wounded. “That kind of discrimination is not appreciated around here.”

“I’ll take care of it.” She offered, and they both agreed heartily.

In between getting the practice off the ground, Rick was heavily involved in preparing the case against Joe. He wasn’t sure which attorney would be appointed to represent him. All he knew was that it wouldn’t be Daryl.  He and Daryl had basically now _come out_ , by which, they took Glenn and Michonne out for dinner one night and came clean about their relationship and made a point of telling them it wasn’t a secret so they could spread the word.

It took about 48 hours to filter throughout the Atlanta legal community.  Negan was not happy, but even he couldn’t fire Daryl for who his boyfriend used to work for.

Rick was therefore surprised to answer his new office door to Andrea Harrison one morning.

“Hi Rick. Sorry I haven’t made an appointment. Do you have time to talk?” Andrea announced in her usual brisk manner, stepping inside his office without waiting for a reply.

She looked stunning as always, dressed impeccably in a navy skirt suit, and impossibly high heels that she walked on as easily as if they were trainers.  Her hair was perfect, her skin clear and makeup artfully natural looking. Rick appreciated all of this from a slightly remote aesthetic perspective, without any real emotion - other than surprise at seeing her.

“It’s been a while Andrea. How can I help you?” He asked easily.

“I heard about the case Rick, and I wanted to let you know I asked to be appointed as your Legal Council.”

Rick’s eyebrows shot up. “Ahh. I didn’t even realise you were back with the DA’s office.” He wondered.

“Hot off the press. Negan and I worked out the details yesterday.  He could hardly refuse my expertise. One of my conditions was that you’d be my first case. And frankly, I think he was relieved for a good reason not to appoint Daryl.”

“Wow. That’s great Andrea, but why represent me?”

“I know it’s out of the blue, but I, well look, to be honest, there are some personal reasons for it.” She looked uncharacteristically lost for words. “Can I sit down?” She asked.

Rick gestured to the couch in his office, and he pulled an office chair near for himself.

“Rick, I liked you a lot. As a person, you know. And if things hadn’t ended so, well, difficultly for us, we could have been friends. We probably should have _only_ ever been friends, we used to get along really well, I don’t know if you remember that?”

“I do. Absolutely. I have always felt awful and responsible for how it turned out. But I assumed it was what you wanted.”

She nodded. “It is. Well, it’s what I wanted then. And I appreciate you respecting that. And it’s been good. It was tough for me initially, but for a while now things have been really good for me. You don’t know this, no one does, but I’ve been seeing someone for quite a while now and it’s very serious.”

“That’s great Andrea, congratulations, I’m really pleased to hear that.” He was.

“After not being on my radar for years now, you were recently brought to my attention for two reasons. One being Joe’s impending trial, and the other, more recently, your relationship with Daryl Dixon.”

Rick tilted his head, still confused.

“You see, well, this is a little strange, but you and Daryl making your relationship public has had a big impact on me personally and on, well.” Andrea paused and took a deep breath.

“The man I’ve been seeing for almost two years now is Judge Dale Horvath.” She paused again as the surprise registered on Rick’s face. “Dale has always been very against us letting this be known, worried for my career and his own. Mine, mostly. Worried about our age difference and despite my constant pleas that it would be ok, nothing has convinced him.  Nothing until you and Daryl.”

“Daryl’s and my relationship made Dale ok with yours being made public?” Rick sounded it out slowly.

“Yes. So much so, he asked me to marry him.” Andrea tentatively smiled and held out her hand to display an enormous diamond. “Turns out he has a lot of respect for both Daryl and yourself and he felt if you could come out in public as partners, and the world didn’t end, then it wasn’t so bad for us.” She finished.

“That’s great Andrea, but what does this have to do with Joe?”

“Do you remember you told me about him? I remember the conversation vividly. I remember how much I hated what had happened, and wished things were different for you. But what I also remember is that I didn’t do anything. Nothing Rick. I was your girlfriend, and a lawyer. Why didn’t I recommend pressing charges then? What about other people he could have hurt? So it’s party that I feel responsible, partly that I’m grateful to you and Daryl, and also, partly that Dale suggested it and it felt like the right thing to do.” She finished meekly.

Rick continued staring at her.

“I understand if you don’t want to, but I wanted to offer. I almost wanted to beg. You know I have an excellent track record and I can add a lot of value.” She pointed out.

“Ok.” Rick agreed and as he raised his hands in surrender he felt a great weight lift from his shoulders.

***************************

Andrea’s intervention in the trial made things a lot easier for Rick, and it freed up a lot of time, meaning he could spend more time with Shane.  Shane had left work a few weeks ago, the pain getting worse and worse for him, but also stating he wanted to get out while people remembered him as strong and healthy.

Sometimes Rick went over to the Walsh house during the day and he and Shane watched old Western’s on TV. Old John Wayne and Clint Eastwood in particular, or Shane’s favourite, High Noon with Gary Cooper.

They also managed two more camping trips like the first.  Lori even came to one of them, although despite enjoying herself, and seeming to cope fine with roughing it, declared camping was not for her.

Still, Lori and all of the adults knew how important these times were. Rick had a constant sense of urgency that they pack in as many memories as possible of them all together. God knew there were enough years where he and Shane been apart and he wanted Carl and Judith particularly to have memories like these.. But if Rick were honest with himself, this was as much for him, as anyone else.  He needed these memories too. He needed this time.

He knew there would never be enough time to watch old movies and make jokes with his best mate. He knew he would never forgive himself for those lost years, but damned if he was going to let this time now just slip away.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning / note for this chapter (and some others coming up) for, well, sadness. It's not Rick or Daryl. You know who it is and what's coming.. But I remember being in tears first drafting this chapter, and again more recently tweaking it to get it ready for you.
> 
> On a brighter note, I wanted to share with you something that was probably obvious from some of my writing:  
> I'm not American!!   
> But I have had the very good fortune to have been visiting California this past week and I've had a great time. I'm at the airport now about to head home. It's been a bit whirl-wind, but I was super keen to post a chapter from The States - the home of TWD and quite a few of you readers here on AO3!! People have been so nice and friendly here, and I got lucky with great weather too... A great trip. 7 years since my last visit and I hope not to leave it so long until the next!!

Rick was busy. And stressed. In between the trial, the new practice and Shane, there wasn’t a lot of spare time, and in some ways his relationship with Daryl was placed on a back burner. But in a good way. In a solid, _we’re going to be together for a long time_ way. With all that was going on, Rick came to realise Daryl was his one constant, his rock.

In the weeks leading up to Daryl’s lease expiring, he and Rick slowly moved all of his things into Rick’s apartment and Rick sold his car to make room for the Jeep. For the bikes they managed to find some small unused corners in the underground garage in which to store them, at least until someone complained.

Selling his car and sharing rent with Daryl had the added benefit of injecting much-needed cash-flow for his new practice, as he was starting to run low on money whilst awaiting funding.

They celebrated their new living arrangement by making love on the living room floor. And in the hall way. And against the shower wall, Rick’s back pushed against the tiles, his legs wrapped around Daryl’s hips for that one. All in one weekend.

Daryl told Rick that Joe’s trial would end and things would be easier. He said it quietly at night, his already low voice almost a whisper after they made love and he told it to him straight, no nonsense, in day-light, and because Daryl said it, Rick would allow himself to believe it. If anyone knew about resilience, it was Daryl.

He had finally opened up to Rick about just how bad things had been for him growing up.  Will Dixon was a father who wavered between being either completely absent or seriously violent, with almost no middle-ground.  Daryl had been fending for himself, with Merle’s occasional help when he wasn’t in jail, since the age of seven.  The lengths Daryl went to to avoid his Father were extreme including sleeping rough for nights on end, only returning home when he sure his Dad was out on a drug or alcohol fuelled bender.

Daryl had contracted pneumonia at one stage when he was ten and if Merle hadn’t found him in the woods and taken him to hospital he could have died.  When he returned from hospital, Will was so furious with him, he beat him so badly he broke his leg, sending Daryl straight back to hospital, then to a foster home for six months before, god only knows why, being returned to his father.  This was just one of many examples of what occurred during the time until Daryl was sixteen and Will finally, thankfully, overdosed and died.

No one could deny Rick experienced a terrible time growing up.  His parent’s death was devastating, and what happened with Joe horrific, but his parents when they were alive had been loving and attentive, and once he was on Hershell’s farm, things had improved for him again.  How Daryl had managed for as long as he had and from such a young age without any real parenting – Rick allowed that Merle must have acted somewhat as his proxy Father – was incredible.  How Daryl had managed to graduate High School and put himself through University to study Law at all, was just mind-blowing.  How Daryl had managed to do all this and still be the kind of man he was, was almost unbelievable.

The more Rick learned about Daryl Dixon, the more he loved him, and so yes, when Daryl said this trial would pass, he believed him.

Unfortunately of course, one thing that wouldn’t just ‘blow over’ was Shane’s illness and one Wednesday when he went to visit Shane for their midday movie session, there was no answer at the door. Rick knocked louder and rang the bell a few more times, but nothing. He looked through the garage door and saw Shane’s Colorado parked inside. He dialled the home number and heard it ring, but no answer. He dialled Shane’s phone and it went to voice-mail so he called Lori as he walked around to the back yard to check the back door.

“Hi Rick, what’s up?” Lori answered the phone.

“Hi, I’m at your place to watch a movie with Shane, but he’s not answering the door. Do you know if he was going out?”

“No Rick, he told me this morning you were coming over. He didn’t say anything about going out” She sounded immediately concerned. “Look, there’s a key under the small pot at the back door, could you use it to check inside? Our bedroom is the second on the right when you go upstairs.”

“Ok, thanks Lori.” Rick said, locating the key. “I’ll ring you right back.”

Rick entered the house. “Shane.” He sung out, before quickly checking downstairs and then taking the stairs two at a time.

“Shane.” He opened the bedroom door, but no Shane.  He stepped into the ensuite and found Shane slumped on the floor.

“Shit. Shane.” He dropped to the ground and leant down to listen for breathing.  He was breathing, but unconscious and he wouldn’t come around from Rick lightly slapping his face. He dialled 911 and spoke to the operator. Then he called Lori back.

Rick sat with Shane on the floor until he heard the ambulance and went down to let them inside. He explained Shane’s condition as he showed them upstairs.

He accompanied Shane in the back of the ambulance. The paramedics explained that although Shane was breathing, it was laboured, and his stomach was distended. Given his condition, they were concerned about internal bleeding.

Rick had texted both Lori and Daryl the name of the hospital. He knew Daryl was in court this afternoon and wouldn’t see his phone, so he wasn’t expecting an answer from him any time soon. Lori arrived fifteen minutes after the ambulance, and was allowed in with Shane, while Rick sat in the waiting room. When she emerged half an hour later, it was with a grim look.

“They need to operate to stop the bleeding.” She sat down shakily next to Rick and placed her head in her hands.

“Ok. What are Carl and Judith doing this afternoon?” Rick asked, trying to focus on something practical.

Lori took a breath. “Judith has art class until 4:30 and Carl has basketball until 4. Both at school. I usually pick them both up outside Judith’s class at 4:30.”

“Ok, either I’ll get them, or if Daryl’s free by then I’ll see if he can.” Rick suggested.

Lori nodded shakily, staring at Rick. “I can’t believe this is happening. To us. To him. Rick, it’s not fair.” She started crying and Rick put his arm around her, pulling her close. Silent tears spilling down his cheeks too.

“I know Lor. It isn’t.”

They were still sitting like that when Daryl arrived with Carl and Judith. Judith was in the middle, holding hands with both Carl and Daryl, eyes and face red and blotchy with tears. Rick took his arm away from Lori and she jumped up to hug her children. Rick stood up and embraced Daryl, who gave him a soft kiss.

“How is he?” Daryl asked gruffly.

“He’s still in surgery, we don’t know anything more still.” Rick replied. It had been over two hours without any new information.

Carl ambled over to his Dad and they hugged, and Rick gave Judith a squeeze on the arm and an encouraging look.

“What’s wrong with him?” Asked Carl.

Lori took a deep breath. “We wanted to tell you together. We weren’t expecting this to happen now. He has cancer.”

“What?” Carl looked around at them. “What do you mean he has cancer. I thought he fell over in the bathroom. What do you mean you wanted to tell us together?” Carl looked angry.

“They were waiting for the right time to tell us.” Judith’s small voice was clear.

“You knew?” Asked Carl at the same time as Lori said “What?”

Judith looked around at all of them. “I heard Dad on the phone the other morning, about a week ago. It must have been his doctor, I’m not sure. He said he and Mum were waiting for the right time to tell us about the Cancer.” Judith looked fearful, unsure if she was in trouble, but continued on. “I didn’t know who he was talking about at the time. I didn’t know if it was him or you, Mum.” She looked at Lori, impossibly large eyes filled with tears.

Lori hugged Judith. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry you heard that, and that you had to think about it for the week. I’m sorry too that we waited.” She looked at Carl. “We thought we were doing the right thing. We thought there was more time. We wanted you to keep having good memories, fun times before….” She tapered off.

“Is Dad going to die?” Judith asked, more tears spilling over her face.

Lori nodded slowly. “His cancer is what they call terminal. But Judith. We are hoping he recovers from this operation today.” Her words were lost in Judith’s screaming no, no, no over and over before Lori was about to pull her into an embrace.

Rick let go of Daryl’s hand that had been squeezing tightly as they both tried not to cry, and hugged Carl as he sobbed too.

Noone spoke. There was nothing to say, and at that point the door opened and the surgeon walked in.

“Mrs Walsh?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Lori stood up.

“Would you like to come through and see him now? I can explain to you how the procedure went.”

“Judith, will you be ok here with Carl and Rick and Daryl?”

Judith nodded tearfully and Lori went with the Doctor.

Daryl walked off and returned with sodas for everyone, and they sipped them slowly waiting for Lori.

She returned a few minutes later, a tight smile on her face.

“He’s ok for now. There was some internal bleeding that the surgeon was able to stop. He’ll need to stay in hospital for a while, but then he can come home.”

Rick and Daryl knew there was a lot she wasn’t saying, but it was a relief to hear anyway.

Lori persuaded Carl to take Judith to the snack vending machine and whilst they were gone she gave Rick more detail.

“Like I said, the surgeon was able to stop the bleeding, and he’ll be able to come home.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “But he said there is a lot of damage already caused by the cancer. It’s more aggressive than they realised, particularly as he hasn’t had a lot of pain so far, and that if this happens again they don’t think surgery will be an option.”

Rick nodded gravely. He had assumed as much.

They all waited as Carl and Judith went in to see Shane, then Rick and Daryl took the kids home to their place to pick up bags, and then back to their apartment.  Rick had recently installed bunk beds in Carl’s room, in case Judith might come to stay and he was glad he did.

When they were finally asleep, he and Daryl sat up together. Again, there was nothing to say. They just sat until they were too tired to stay awake, and went to bed, holding each other close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh another thing. I wanted to say there is not a lot of story left. I think maybe 32 Chapters.. 33 possibly.. Anyway, just so you know. Thanks for reading!


	29. Chapter 29

The following week was busy for Rick. Joe’s trial started, and he was required to be in court each day. It was traumatic having to see the man, but not as traumatic as walking into the Walsh household and seeing Judith’s glassy stare or Lori’s vacant eyes.

And not as traumatic as seeing the transformation in Shane. In just a few days he had been reduced from his usual strong virile self, to a mere shadow. He lost 10 pounds overnight, his cheeks were hollow, his skin tone yellow. Still, his spirit didn’t seem to be affected as he joked with Rick about something his Doctor had said, and then made fun with one of the nurses when she came by.

Rick was thinking about Shane’s jokes when Joe was led into the court room. Joe also looked thinner, but still strong, and his posture took on a new ‘fuck you’ attitude. Prison seemed to agree with Joe and Rick wasn’t surprised. The man would thrive there. Even though they would no doubt hate him for being a pedophile.

“All rise.” Rick was broken from his reverie by Judge Jones walking in and banging the gavel.  He admired Morgan Jones and had been happy to learn he would be presiding at this trial.

The events of the day were a bit of a blur for Rick as Andrea took over and worked her magic. He had not worked with her, or seen her in action for quite a while, and she had improved even from before when he considered her already better than everyone else.

Andrea handled everything deftly and Rick thought the opposing council looked a little nervous. Joe didn’t look nervous though, he noticed. Joe looked as cocky as ever and Rick desperately longed to see that look wiped from the man’s face.

Rick would be required to testify the following day.

After court he made his way to the hospital to visit Shane.

“Hey.” Shane smiled and waved when Rick walked in. “Looking good man.” Shane referred to Rick’s suit. He hadn’t been wearing his proper court suits for a while now. “How did today go?”

“Hey. Not bad actually. Andrea Harrison is an amazing lawyer. I wouldn’t be putting my hand up to go up against her in a trial, that’s for sure. How are you feeling?”

“Good.” Shane replied evenly, but Rick knew it was a lie.

“Don’t give me that. And don’t pretend you weren’t a lot sicker a lot earlier than you let on. The doctors said they didn’t realise how far the cancer had progressed, because you weren’t feeling any pain. But I know now you were hiding it.” Rick tried but failed to be angry.

Shane raised his hands in a ‘what could I do’ shrug.

“Argh. Sorry man. I know you’re doing what you think’s best for everyone, but I’m worried about you.”

“You _should_ be worried about me. I’m fucking dying.” Shane laughed ironically. “But hey, I’m a lot better off that some people. Some people don’t get to say goodbye to their family and friends, don’t get a chance to get their shit together first. So I’m counting myself as one of the lucky ones.” He paused. “But damnit if I wouldn’t like another ten years. Or one year.”

Rick didn’t have words for that.

“Enough about me. Tell me about Joe. How was he in court? Wish I could be there to see that arsehole squirm.”

Rick sighed. “You know Joe. No squirming.  Cockiest asshole that ever lived that guy. Smirked all the way through today’s proceedings. I don’t think anything scares him, and to be honest, I have a feeling he gets by just fine in jail. I just wish there was a way to wipe the smugness from his face.”

“Hmmm, yeah that’s a tough one.  I’ve dealt with a lot of pricks like him over the past years, and they second-guess everything. The only time I’ve seen them scared is if something happens they couldn’t predict, or if they fuck up in some way and don’t realise until it’s too late.”

“Well I get the feeling there’s not a big chance of that happening any time soon.”

“Get him riled up. That’s the only way. For a cold calculating asshole like that, the only way to catch him off guard is to get him riled up. Now, how you do that, I’m not sure.”

“Thanks man, I’ll have a think about it. So, when are you getting out of here?”

“Few days they say. Can’t bloody wait, I’m going to get bedsores if I have to stay here much longer.”

Soon it was time for Rick to leave and he said good bye and left.  The kids had been staying with Rick for the past week, but were at Lori’s tonight.

When he got home Daryl had just gotten out of the shower, his hair damp, he was wearing those low-slung grey track pants and Rick was reminded of an evening not long after they had first met.

“Been to the gym?” Rick asked.

“Yeah.” Daryl walked towards him, eyes cloaked in lust. “Haven’t seen you kitted out like this for a while.” He walked up into Rick’s space and pushed their bodies together, hands circling around to rest on Rick’s arse.

“We can’t all get dressed up pretty like you do every day.” Rick teased.

With the kids staying over, it had been a while since they had been physical and just now Rick realised that with all the stress and worry, that he needed Daryl like this now more than ever.

“Well you certainly do look pretty, Grimes.” And Daryl pressed a deep kiss to his lips, tongue delving in for exploration, ceasing further discussion. He walked forwards pressing Rick up against the wall, raising his hands to stroke up Rick’s sides, up and down, before pulling his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants.

“Oh god Daryl, I need…” Rick started panting as Daryl kissed up and down his neck.

“Hmmm, what do you need, Grimes?” He asked in between kisses, and before clamping down on Rick’s collarbone and sucking a bruise into it.

Rick bucked forwards, unable to move more than his pelvis, pressing their erections close.

“I need….. Aaahhhhhh.” Rick moaned as Daryl had moved down, somehow he’d opened Rick’s shirt enough and was sucking on his left nipple.

“I nee…..Aaahhhhh.” As Daryl transferred to the right nipple.

“You, Daryl. I need you.”

Daryl growled and swung them around, marching Rick towards the bedroom. Rick undid his pants and shook them off along with his shirt and jacket, and Daryl pulled his track pants off, his hard cock springing out as he did so.

“Want to suck you Daryl. Want you to fuck my mouth.” Rick lay back on the bed and gestured for Daryl to straddle his face. Daryl shuffled into position and fed his cock gently into Rick’s mouth, it was already hard and it was so big it filled Rick’s mouth completely, so Daryl was careful as he moved it in and out. Rick wrapped his hands around Daryl’s arse, momentarily releasing one hand to stuff some fingers into Daryl’s mouth to slick them up, before rubbing it up Daryl’s crack and inserting his finger.

Daryl practically screamed out as Rick fucked him with his finger, and deep throated his cock. He followed the same process before inserting a second finger, now pumping in and out.

“Gonna cum.” Daryl ground out moments before pumping a full load into Rick’s mouth. Rick quickly swallowed and then wasted no time shifting out from under Daryl, grabbing the lube to slick his own desperately hard cock and mounting his lover, pumping his cock straight in, trusting his fingers had done their job. Daryl felt very tight though and he worried it wasn’t enough but the moans and ‘yes Rick’s’ coming from his mouth quelled his concern. He needed this to be hard and fast and he fucked in and out, spreading Daryl’s’ ass cheeks apart to get a better view, and then pumping in and out some more.

“Feels fucking amazing, Rick.” Daryl gasped. “I think I might come again. Love how hard you’re fucking me. Love how much you need this and that I can give it to you.”

Rick felt under for Daryl’s hardening cock and started to jerk him off in time with the slapping sound he made as he pumped in and out. In and out as the pressure in his balls started to build.

“Oh fuck, Daryl.” Rick moaned as his orgasm spilled forth and he emptied into his lover.

Daryl gasped as he came again, Rick careful to loosen his grip a little.

After they lay together entangled, sweaty, gasping for breath, Rick rubbing his hands all over Daryl’s gorgeous body, paying particular attention to his chest and arms.

“You are amazing.” He whispered.

“Idiot.” Daryl laughed quietly. “You too.”


End file.
